Happy New Year, everyone! January first, 2008 is as good a time as any to make a brand new start. New plans, new opportunities, new attitude, whatever, the time is right to start making your dreams come true. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it’s that we are all responsible for our own happiness. And if there’s two things I’ve learned, it’s that you are about as happy as you decide you’re gonna be. And if there’s three things I’ve learned in life, it’s that you never get your house repaired by the lowest bidder. But that’s enough wisdom for now... there’s a whole new year ahead to fill with time wasters, funny stories, and various and sundry amusements. So let’s get started!  



In 2007 (via YesButNoButYes)

6 New Year Traditions from Around the World.

Pole dancing! The Seven Deadly Sinners have a collection of New Year’s images of drunks dancing with lamp posts.

A Few Leftover Lists from 2007

2007: The Year in Cats.

Fark Headline of the Year contest. Then there are headline contests for entertainment,  sports, weird stories, and the best puns.

Co-Ed Magazine posted their Top 25 Sexiest Female Athletes of 2007. You can vote on your favorite!

Vote for the Sexiest Geeks of 2007.

The Ten Worst Movies of 2007.

Idiot of the Year Awards. (via Bits and Pieces)

Transbuddha’s Game of the Year, and a game for each month.

Reuters’ Top Ten Weird Stories of 2007.

Top Baby Names of 2007.

Now on to 2008!

2008 Sucks button available here for $1.99. (via the Presurfer)

2008 Web Predictions. They think a lot of company trading will happen. Like always.

7 Technologies that will Save the Earth in 2008. If these can be made affordable, people will line up to use them.

Bloggers have prediction for 2008, too. Here are J-Walk’s predictions for 2008. Wendell Witt weighs in again. Wulfweard the White tries his hand at predictions. And Frogster, too!

New Year’s Jokes

Did you hear what the dyslexic Highway Patrolman did on New Year's?
He spent the whole night handing out I.U.D.'s
***
Carl's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence with numerous guests arriving.  During the evening, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the kitchen. 

He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face.
'You know,' he confided to Carl, 'I wasn't even invited to this party.  I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my drive.'  

He continued, 'My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved, so that we can go out.'
***
Sally was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to George, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'

'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered George smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, George approached Sally and handed her small package.  Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: The Meaning of Dreams.

Check out this New Year card I got from Curious Expeditions! --->

News Predictions for 2008

January: After paying five billion dollars for The Wall Street Journal, Rupert Murdoch will reduce the size of the paper by removing the facts.

February: Responding to the controversy over the CIAs’ waterboarding videotapes, President Bush will reaffirm his administration’s opposition to videotaping. 

March: As the writers strike drags on, Paramount will produce the second “Transformers” film without a script, just like they did with the first one.

April: Monica Lewinsky will announce her candidacy for President of the United States. She will offer herself as an alternative to Hillary, saying, “It worked before.”

May: Attempting to bolster flagging enlistment rates, the Army will change its recruitment slogan from “Army Strong” to “I Can’t Believe It’s Not a Civil War.” 

June: Population experts will warn that the world’s population will soar in 2008, largely due to the Spears sisters.

July: China will send a new brand of rat poison to the United States under the name “Delicious Cupcakes.”

August: Sen. Edward Kennedy will abandon plans to write his memoirs, explaining, “I can’t even remember what I did last night.”

September: At the Republican National Convention, G.O.P. nominee Mike Huckabee will select Jesus Christ as his running mate. 

October: O.J. Simpson will be convicted in Las Vegas, proving that it is easier to get away with murder than stealing sports memorabilia.

November: President-elect Michael Bloomberg will defend the five- billion-dollar cost of his campaign, arguing, “Rupert Murdoch paid that much for The Wall Street Journal, and I get a whole country.”

December: In his last official act, President Bush will announce an exit strategy from Iraq. The President will withdraw all U.S. troops – through Iran.

Same Old Lang Syne -Dan Folgelberg

Blog Blonde tagged me for a meme. Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like. That’s a hard one, since I don’t post about such things, but here I go:
Family  Playhouse (‘cause it was for my kids)
Friend Boys Gone Wild (a gift from my bud April)
Myself  Sex and the Single Blogger (yeah, right)
My Love  Chocolate, Coffee, Chocolate and Coffee, Coffee and Chocolate (I couldn’t make up my mind)
Anything  Monty Python (what did you expect? The Spanish Inquisition?)
If you like this meme, consider yourself tagged.

Previously at Miss Cellania: New Years Day 2007

Thought for today: Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.  ~Benjamin Franklin Thanks, Ben, maybe I’ll find him this year!

humor jokes video funny games

There will be no New Year parties for me this year! I went to a party last year. It was the first party I'd been to in quite a few years (excepting the kids' birthdays). I was the only guest there. The host couple had invited everyone they knew, but no one showed up. Several times during the night, the dog would bark, and the hostess would say "Someone's here!" But after checking, she would say it must be the fireworks that made him bark. Yeah. I still suspect there were several folks who drove up, saw my vehicle, and left. Anyway, the three of us had a good time (what I can remember of it). But I wouldn't jinx anyone's party this year, even if anyone HAD invited me!

No, this New Year's Eve, I will be surfing the net, sipping coffee and Comfort, watching fireworks on TV, and giving my sleeping kids a kiss. What are YOU doing this evening?

I got a great New Year greeting, one worth passing on to all of you. Perfect music for the occassion, too. (Thanks, Wendy!)

HOLIDAY LINKS
Watch the ball drop on the Times Square Webcam.
Easy New Year jigsaw puzzle for kids.
New Year fireworks video from the Eiffel Tower.
Great fireworks at the World Pyro Olympics. Check the gallery for available video.
Shooting guns into the air to celebrate.
Let Yoda keep you informed of the time.
Wikipedia list of calendars.
New Years eCards.
New Year greeting featuring cows.
Groovin Granny greeting.
Traditional food and Party Tips.




Plan ahead! If you are going to drink this New Year's Eve, then either stay at home, sleep it off at your host's home, walk home, or take a designated driver, like this cowboy did.

THE EVOLUTION OF RESOLUTIONS

RESOLUTION #1:
2000: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2001: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2002: I will read 5 books a year.
2003: I will finish The Pelican Brief
2004: I will read some articles in the newspaper this year.
2005: I will read at least one article this year.
2006: I will try and finish the comics section this year.

RESOLUTION #2:
2000: I will get my weight down below 180.
2001: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.
2002: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.
2003: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2004: I will work out 5 days a week.
2005: I will work out 3 days a week.
2006: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

RESOLUTION #3:
2000: I will not spend my money frivolously.
2001: I will pay off my bank loan promptly.
2002: I will pay off my bank loans promptly.
2003: I will begin making a strong effort to be out of debt by 2004.
2004: I will be totally out of debt by 2005.
2005: I will try to pay off the debt interest by 2006.
2006: I will try to be out of the country by 2007.

RESOLUTION #4:
2003: I will try to be a better husband to Marge.
2004: I will not leave Marge.
2005: I will try for a reconciliation with Marge.
2006: I will try to be a better husband to Wanda.

RESOLUTION #5:
2003: I will stop looking at other women.
2004: I will not get involved with Wanda.
2005: I will not let Wanda pressure me into another marriage.
2006: I will stop looking at other women.

RESOLUTION #6:
2003: I will not let my boss push me around.
2004: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide.
2005: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me.
2006: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about my boss.

RESOLUTION #7:
2003: I will not get upset when Charlie makes jokes about my baldness.
2004: I will not get annoyed when Charlie kids me about my toupee.
2005: I will not get angry when Charle tells the guys I wear a girdle.
2006: I will not speak to Charlie.

RESOLUTION #8:
2003: I will not take a drink before 5:00 p.m.
2004: I will not touch the bottle before noon.
2005: I will not become a "problem drinker".
2006: I will not miss any AA meetings.

RESOLUTION #9:
2003: I will see my dentist this year.
2004: I will have my cavities filled this year.
2005: I will have my root canal work done this year.
2006: I will get rid of my denture breath this year.

RESOLUTION #10:
2003: I will go to church every Sunday.
2004: I will go to church as often as possible.
2005: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation.
2006: I will try to catch the late night sermonette on TV.

Computer Nerd Resolutions

16. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I resolve to, uh, get my, er, off-line work done, too!
15. I will stop checking my e-mail at 3:00 in the morning... 4:30 is much more practical.
14. When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
13. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
12. I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
11. I will stop sending e-mail to my roommate.
10. I will not buy magazines with AOL disks bound in just to get another 1.44MB disk.
9. I resolve to work with neglected children... my own.
8. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm I answer e-mail.
7. When I subscribe to a newsgroup or mailing list, I will read all the mail I get from it.
6. I will stop using, "So, what's your URL?" as a pickup line.
5. No more downloads from alt.binaries.*
4. I resolve to back up my new 400 GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... monthly, perhaps...
3. I will spend less than five hour a day on the Internet.
2. I will limit my top ten lists to ten items.
1. I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.



Thought for today: Seems like this blog is one of the more positive things of 2007. I've had fun putting it together, I've learned a lot, and made quite a few friends. A big THANKS to all my sources, contributors, advisors, commenters, linkers, and readers! Happy New Year!

This post originally appeared on December 31st, 2005.

humor links New Year funny fireworks holiday 2006 party celebration

You may be saying, "Miss Cellania, how could you be so cruel as to post about DIETING so soon after Christmas!" But we are all in the same boat (with lots of ballast). Yours truly is as guilty as the next person of overindulging in holiday treats. Too much gravy, too many chocolate-covered cherries, and a few eggnog toasts will broaden your horizons, so to speak. And don't you want to fit into that fancy dress for New Years? Fat chance! But we gotta start somewhere. Bikini season is only 6 months away!

Running Machine

HOW IT ALL STARTED
In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this."

And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good. And the Devil said, "There goes the neighborhood."

And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female did He create.

And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit.

And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game."

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds.

And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."

And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip.

And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance.

Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice.

And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds.

And God created the life-giving tofu.

And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?"

And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did.

And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor.

And Woman put aside the seeds of the earth and took unto herself comfort food. And God brought forth Weight-watchers. It didn't help.

And God created exercise machines with easy payments. And man brought forth his Visa at 21 percent. And the exercise machine went to dwell in the closet of Nod, east of the polyester leisure suit.

And in the fullness of time, Woman received the exercise machine from Man in the property settlement. It didn't help her, either.

Quiz: What kind of donut are you? (via Geek Like Me)

What Kind Of Donut Are You! Powdered Donut Filled with blueberry, cherry, or lemon jelly, or just plain. Did you use to wet your lips and pretend you had powdered lipstick when you were little? Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

 
Nobody said it would be easy. But take a look at the alternative!

The Doctor Hate Diet is for those who want to harness the Dark Side of the Force for weight control.

The Hacker's Diet for geeks who might understand it.

This cartoon will help you learn to use a conveyor belt exercise machine.

Here's some diet tips you can really relate to.

Some folks can't see the need for a diet.

JOE'S DIETING JOKES

Did you say you lost 10 pounds? Turn around I think I found it.

I was on the South Beach diet and it just was not enough food for me, so I got on the Adkins diet. I feel good now, of course I never got off of the first diet. Two diets seem to be plenty for me.

I finally found a new diet that I can stick to. You just don't eat between snacks.

Is this thing on??...Hello... Can you hear me?

DIET TIPS

# If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
# If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.
# When eating with someone else, calories don't count if you both eat the same amount.
# Foods used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes any chocolate used for energy, brandy, Sara Lee Cheesecake (eaten whole), and Haagen-Daz Ice Cream.
# Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one's personal fuel. This includes Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.
# Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage causes calorie leakage.
# If you eat the food off someone else's plate, it doesn't count.
# If you eat standing up the calories all go to your feet and get walked off.
# Food eaten at Christmas parties has no calories, courtesy of Santa.
# STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

Thought for today: A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

This post originally appeared on December 27th, 2005.

humor links diet weight loss

Christmas seemed to come and go in a twinkle this year, probably because I didn’t shop til the last minute. I have an entire blog post coming up about Princess’ gift from Santa. I planned Christmas dinner for four and eight showed up, but we still had plenty of food. And 2008 is coming up fast! A couple more notes:

*I’ve found a twin! Thanks to  Holtie’s House, I found Ms. Cellania!

*Thanks to Debbie Dolphin, who presented me with another award, this one called the Cool and Crazy award.

*YesButNoButYes is featuring polls to find out what you think is the best of 2007. You can vote on your favorite viral videos, TV shows, comic books, sports teams, and a poll on movies should be available soon There’s also a tournament-style poll on the “WTF Moment of 2007” with six brackets up so far (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6).

Singing Backwards

The first half of this video features a guy singing a song in reverse. He’s also doing some stuff that will look strange backwards. The second half is where you find out what song he is singing, when the video goes backwards! This performance must have taken a lot of practice. (via Boing Boing)

Twas the Day After Christmas. If there were (or have ever been) any toys or gadgets under your tree, you can relate to this.

Interactive Flash Physics. I know there’s an opportunity to learn things here, but I had so much fun slinging things around, the time just flew by!

The Most Expensive Drink at Starbucks. Billy Chasen challenges you to come up with an order that beats his $13.76 venti.

See the trailer and synopsis if the upcoming Pixar movie WALL-E. The title character looks like a cross between E.T. and Number Five!

Screamin’ Beans. (Thanks, Walter!)

Curious Expeditions has a rundown of several of history’s more interesting duels.

WOOF

A dog walked into a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote, "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."

The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."

"But," the dog replied, "that would make no sense at all."

Your daily does of cuteness: Baby Pandas Wrestling. They’re young, clumsy, and act just like brothers do.

Top Ten Worst Logos.

Some Useful Condescending Phrases.

It’s difficult to name a new product, and a condom is no exception. You want something that brings up an image of virility, liked Trojan, or appeals to male ego, like Maxim, right? Or you could cut right to a pun that’s destined to garner search engine hits. They named the condom Abstinence.

The best error page ever. It’s most likely more interesting that what you were looking for in the first place.

A boy and his dog. If this story doesn’t make you cry, I don’t know what will.

Interactive Flash Physics. I know there’s an opportunity to learn things here, but I had so much fun slinging things around, the time just flew by!

10 Signs of Intelligent Life at YouTube. They’ve done some serious homework to put this list together.

CASTRO’S ARMY

(via Phil’s Phun)
A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door.

The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?"

The man says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army."

The bartender says, "Alright then" and the man leaves.

A few minutes later another man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whisky.

The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door.

The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?"

The man says,"Excuse me, Castro's Army."

The bartender says "Alright then" and the man leaves.

The Scotsman gets an idea and walks up to the bar and orders a shot of whisky. He drinks the whisky then starts walking out the door.

The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?"

The Scotsman says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army."

The bartender says, "Hey where is your big black beard?"

The Scotsman thinks quickly. He lifts his Kilt and says,

"Secret Service!"

Remote Control Race (via Unique Daily)

Thought for today: It's OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.

humor jokes video funny games

A year ago, the guy at the Farm Supply talked me into buying a 20-pound sack of winter wheat seed. I only needed a few pounds for a cover crop, but figured I could make the sack last two years. I stored half in my basement (it’s a basement to me; to anyone over 5’5” it’s a crawl space). This year, I pulled it out and noticed it did not weigh ten pounds. Mice had eaten it and left only hulls! So I bought a few more pounds  and considered poison. Instead, I made friends with the neighbor’s outside cats, even fed them a few times, and now they come to my basement and sleep on the heating ducts. That may get rid of the mice... I hope. Thanks to Gogo and Biscuit, I never see any in the house. I saw a rat in the neighborhood once many years ago, but with all the competition from mice, possums, squirrels, groundhogs, moles, raccoons, rabbits, and pets, the rats probably left for greener pastures.  



Carlitopolis (via Grow-A-Brain)

Everything you ever wanted to know about rats.

The long-eared jerboa has been caught on film in the Gobi desert for what scientists believe is the first time ever. It looks like an adorable mouse with rabbit ears!

A three-pound rat was found in the Foja Mountains of western New Guinea, Indonesia. Experts think it may be a previously-unknown species. It is five times the size of regular city rats, and has no fear of humans. That sounds suspiciously like the premise for a horror film.

The World's Largest Mouse Invasion: 100 Million Mice, $70 Million in Damages.

The cutest Naked Mole Rat ever!

The Saga of Lemmiwinks The Gerbil King. Warning: may be offensive.

Scientists Create Genetically Engineered Supermice. And they were supposed to be building a better mousetrap!

Poor Hamster! (via b3ta)

Isabella, the Rat Princess. (via Grow-A-Brain)

Which Do You Prefer? One Cat? Or A Thousand Rats?

Tech support said a stuck mouse shouldn’t affect my printer. I believe otherwise.

Rat Javelin. How far can your rat throw one?

MOUSE BALLS

This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor.

“Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge.

Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each replacer have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should suspect local personnel of removing these necessary items.”

TOUGH RATS

Once there were these three rats sitting around talking how macho they were. The first rats says to the other three, "I can eat a whole box of rat poisoning and not get a buzz!"

The other two rats were like, "Whoa, that's some stunt!"

The second rat says, "Oh yeah? Well, I can pop the bar off a rat trap and bench press it with no problem."

The other rats were like, "That is cool!"

So the last rat gets up and starts to walk away and the other rat says, "Hey dude where are you going?"

The third rats turns around and says, " I'm off to screw the cat."

PSA By David Lynch

Thought for today: The problem with the rat race is, even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin

humor jokes video funny games rodents rats mouse mice vermin

Why do I get excited about hanging up a new calendar? I guess like all our New year traditions, it symbolizes a new start. But we don't want to forget the past, either. 2007 is a year which will go down in history. Just like every other year. Every December, as soon as Christmas is over, we’re all like “Wow, the year’s almost over. What happened?” That’s what all those year-end lists are for. We can’t remember what happened yesterday if we don’t write it down, or at least type it on the internet. But that’s how history happens... first, it’s news. Then it’s a top-ten-year-end list. Then it goes in a stack of things to be filed. Then a few years from now, someone says, “I remember something about that...” and they look it up. Then it’s history, or at least something interesting to tell the kids you remember, even if you really don’t remember it.



Americans Love Lists (via b3ta)

50 Top 10 Lists of 2007 from TIME.

The Associated Press’ Top News Stories of 2007.

Reuters Pictures of the Year 2007.

Offbeat Stories of 2007, as compilied by the Australian Broadcasting Corporation. It’s not surprising that three of them involve cats. Of this list, Oscar, the cat who predicts death was probably the most talked-about story on the internet.

The Top Ten Stories You Missed in 2007.

The Beast has ranked the 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2007. As I went through the list, I kept thinking, “How did he/she rank so far down?” Then I saw why, because there’s always more loathsome people who want to inflict their worldview on the rest of us. Bill O’Reilly came in a #23. You can probably guess who’s #1.

My picks for the biggest assholes of 2007 by Bill Maher. (via Grow-A-Brain)

Top Ten Bushisms of 2007.

Seven things we should pretend never happened in 2007.

The Top Ten Stupid Criminals of 2007.

The Top Ten Scientific Discoveries of 2007, according to TIME. Planets and dinosaurs are there, but the biggest breakthroughs are inside of us.

National Geographic’s Top Ten News Stories of 2007.

Top Ten Archaeology Stories of 2007. This year's news about the past, as it were.

The Top Ten Astronomy Pictures of 2007, from Bad Astronomy. That was soon followed by Astronomy Pictures of the Year 2007, from the editors of Astronomy Picture of the Day. Each of these impressed us through the year, but together they are thoroughly humbling.

The 100 Best Films of 2007. There are an awful lot of best film lists, but a really useful one is The Best 19 Movies You Didn't See in 2007. It's a list that will help you plan your home theater experience of 2008.

Top Ten Awkward Moments of 2007. (via Fark)

Top Ten Bigfoot Stories of 2007. (via Boing Boing)

The New York Times list of 100 Notable Books of 2007. Surprisingly, there are no science books on the list.

The 15 Weirdest Work Stories of 2007. This story doesn’t provide any links, so I looked one of them up and found it happened in 2005. So take that as it is.

The Worst Employees of 2007.

Best media corrections of the year.

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Year for 2007 is w00t. This recognition signifies the very end of any coolness for the term, and ensures that it will never again be used in internet forums.

The 10 Best and Worst Things to Happen to Men in 2007.

Wired’s Top Ten Gadgets of the Year. And to go along with it, The Top Ten Heartbreaking Gadgets of 2007. Beta testing and listening to consumer feedback could’ve saved some of these gadgets, but you still may have trouble finding a Wii.

Forbes Web Celeb 25, 2007 edition.

Best Blogs of 2007 That You (Maybe) Aren't Reading. Personally, I would recommend any blog in my sidebar, plus a lot more in the sidebar at Miss C Recommends.

Jon Swift has a roundup of The Best Blog Posts of 2007. 

Yours Truly got to host the Top 5 Viral Videos of 2007 segment for the ABC World News Webcast. I even got some notice from this.

Those who made predictions at the beginning of 2007 include Wendell Witt, Jon Swift, Wired, Fimoculous, and Hairshirt. The predictions from Hairshirt about Britney Spears and OJ Simpson were eerily accurate.

TOP QUOTES OF 2007

According to Fred R. Shapiro, the editor of the Yale Book of Quotations. (via J-Walk Blog)

1. "Don't Tase me, bro." -- Andrew Meyer

2. "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us." -- Lauren Upton

3. "In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country." -- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

4. "That's some nappy-headed hos there." -- Don Imus

5. I don't recall." -- Alberto Gonzales

6. "There's only three things he (Rudy Giuliani) mentions in a sentence: a noun and a verb and 9/11." -- Joseph Biden

7. "I'm not going to get into a name-calling match with somebody (Dick Cheney) who has a 9 percent approval rating." -- Harry Reid

8. "(I have) a wide stance when going to the bathroom." -- Larry Craig

9. "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." -- Joe Biden

10. "I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history." -- Jimmy Carter

Stuff I did this year

In 2007, I became a professional blogger, doing posts I actually had to work on with research and stuff. You know what they say about turning your hobby into a career... that you need to find another hobby! I just don’t have the time anymore. Here are some of the highlights of 2007 for me.

At mental_floss, my post The LOLcat of Death set a record for the most Diggs of any floss article. The article High School Sports Teams got 234 comments, which isn’t a record, but it may be a record for a mental_floss post that didn’t have a prize giveaway!

At Neatorama, my post on the Scrubs engagment got the most publicity, although that was just a video link. For posts I put some work into, The Weirdest Insects in the World came out on top. Doing the Top 5 Viral Videos of 2007 post for the ABC News Webcast (mentioned above) was a highlight for me, too!

At YesButNoButYes, I don’t even have to figure out which articles did the best, since they are all in the post Top Ten Stories by Miss Cellania, which was published for my birthday.

Jon Swift asked me what post I was proudest of on my own site for the year 2007. That’s a hard one. The posts that got the most traffic were nothing to write home about in my opinion, and the ones I worked hardest on got little attention. But one post was an exception. Schroedinger's Cat was one I was particularly proud of, and over time got a lot of attention, too! 

In the real world, my year was pretty much just another year. After a slight upswing in 2006, my lovelife returned to normal, meaning I went the entire year without a date. Maybe 2008 will be better. Maybe.

To Oh-Oh-Seven

by Bruce Goldfarb

The leg’s in the smoker and the Juice is on ice
Gore rests on laurels at Vick’s dog fights
Goodbye Fredo, fade-out Sopranos
Pootie YouTube nappy-headed hos
Bubble bursts, bridge falls down
Six entombed underground
Surges, purges, foot-tapping urges
Castro’s not dead, but Ladybird is
Helmsley’s pooch, Gere’s smooch
Lindsay’s hooch, Britney’s cooch
Blackwater wildfire Dick’s cousin Obama
They don’t have maps! Hey, remember Osama?
Hillary, Rudy, Mitt, and Fred
Tainted toothpaste, toys with lead
Pet food cavemen quagmire in Iraq
Shit meet fan: Turks attack
Phony soldiers man-sized safes
Leave her alone! Scooter’s walk chafes
Monks riot, lawyers in tear gas mist
General Betray Us, Bonds’ asterisk
Bernanke iPhone Iran bombing any day
Don’t tase me bro! I’ve never been gay.
None too soon this year will be through
We’re kicking ass whoop-dee-damn-doo.

The End of the World as We Know It (via Boing Boing)

Previously at Miss Cellania: 2006 and  The Lists of 2005

Thought for today: 2007 is a year which will go down in history.

humor jokes video funny 2007 news lists year top ten

While I’m behind on everything for the holidays (swimming upstream to catch up, because the kids are out of school), I may as well post something easy and fun, however dumb it may be. That gives me a few hours to get something really terrific ready for you tomorrow... not that I'll actually get it done, but I've got some plans. Do I get any credit for good intentions?

Anyway, you can’t go wrong crossing two of the internet’s favorite subjects, in this case, cats and Star Wars. Gotta be some fun there! Some of these images were sent to me, some were found at Fark, others here and there. If you have a funny photo, you can add captions with LOLcat Buildr.



Jedi Cat

Star Wars Cats. I don't quite understand this site, but it’s got some pretty cats!

Yes, there’s a game. I hope you have better luck with it than I did.

I love this: The Millenium Falcon Cat Bed.

There should have been cats in Star Wars! Lots of them!

Even Apelad is into Star Wars LOLcats! Here is one from his Laugh Out Loud Cats series.

R2D2 translator. Type in whatever you want translated, and R2D2 will provide an MP3 of himself saying it. (via Cynical-C)

The Top 10 Craziest Star Wars Tattoos. (via Boing Boing)

See more Star Wars image macros at I Can Has Force. (via Club Jade)

I Can Has Cheezeburger has a category just for Star Wars macros. They need more.

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Previously at Miss Cellania: Holy Macros! Its LOLcats!

Thought for toda