See also: Does my butt look big in this?

(via Wulfweard the White)

A clever ad for Levis.

Athletes traveling to Beijing for the Olympics next month will be equipped with uniforms for every occasion. Besides specifically designed sport uniforms, most will also have clothing to represent their nation as a unified team. These formal and/or leisure uniforms are used for official functions, press conferences, and the opening (formal) and closing (leisure) ceremonies.

The Canadian uniforms are stirring things up. They've been called pajamas, clown suits, loud, and just plain ugly. And there's some snark about the fact that they are manufactured in China.

The USA's leisure uniforms for the closing ceremonies are preppy city, but the formal uniforms for the opening ceremony won't be seen til August 8th, when the Summer Games open in Beijing.

See these and more at mental_floss.

Disclaimer: I wrote this.

See with a mess you can make of this guy's hair!

(via Dead Dog)

Betty Jenkins was an adventurous young woman with a flat chest. Her mother gave her an inflatable bra to attract men. But what happens when you wear a partially-inflated bra in a plane flying over the Andes Mountains?

It turned out the cabin was not pressurized, and the bra was expanding.

"As the thing got bigger, I tried to stand up," Jenkins said, "and I couldn't see my feet."

The instructions said that the bra's pads could be inflated up to a size 48.

"I thought, 'What would happen if it goes beyond 48?'" Jenkins recalled.

Big trouble in South America, that's what. NPR has the story. (via YesButNoButYes) 
 

Ladies Day at the Royal Ascot races in England was last week. Tradition dictates that you wear your best hat for the occasion. Best Week Ever posted the Top 10 Silliest Hats in England spotted at the event.

Dan and Dan just turned 30 and figured it was time to put away childish things, meaning his clothes. (via b3ta)

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

Well,” she said, “I think I’ll braid my hair today?” So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

“H-M-M,” she said, “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.”

So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

“Well,” she said, “today I’m going to wear my hair in a pony tail.”

So she did and she had a  fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn’t a single hair on her head.

“YEA!” she exclaimed,  “I don’t have to fix my hair today!”

(via Bits and Pieces)

Thought for today: A hair on the head is worth two on the brush.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say this is a bad tattoo, because the artist did a good job with the subject. But maybe we can call it a “bad idea” tattoo. (via Metafilter)

Yesterday, I got two things done before work. I donated a pint of blood, and I dyed my hair. Guess which one was more traumatic? The hair, of course. See, Clairol has apparently discontinued the dye I'd been using for years, probably because it was cheap and had a low profit margin. Now I know why old people don't take to change very well. Having to start over with a new product took me out of my comfort zone. So I told myself, its JUST HAIR, no matter how bad it is, it will grow back eventually. So I picked something that said 'blonde' and 'permanent' for about $8. Thats a lot more than I used to spend. (edited two years later to add: and I spent even less on my looks now that I no longer have a "real" job! Now I just go as long as I possible can before I even look in the mirror.)

I don't think I will buy the same product next time. The color was not comparable to the box front, and it fried my scalp pretty good. I can just imagine the chemicals seeping into my brain cells. But the job is done, and I don't have to worry about it for quite some time. See, it will be a few weeks before I am even back to the Official East Kentucky Hairstyle, as pictured here.

At the Beauty Salon

WHILE getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, I asked the barber when would be the best time to bring in my two-year-old son. Without hesitation, the barber answered, "When he's four."

WHEN a new permanent turned out to be a disaster, I phoned my husband and issued a one-line warning: "Don't say anything about my hair." During dinner, we discussed the weather, his day at the office � anything but my hair. I began to feel uneasy. Finally, when we were washing the dishes, he said in a serious tone, "You'd better go now. My wife will be here any moment, and she wouldn't like to find me with a strange woman."

The International Ginger Kids Foundation works to achieve equality, understanding, tolerance, and acceptance for Redheaded Kids all over the world.

A site celebrating the Monobrow.

How to look like Kenny Rogers.

You are gonna giggle at this video of women getting a Bikini wax!

Photos of women with extremely long hair.

Hair History: A blog of vintage hairstyles.







THE BLONDE JOKE

A blonde walks into a beauty salon to get a hair cut with headphones on. The hairdresser asks her to take them off for the haircut and she replies, "I can't, I'll die." She proceeds to cut her hair and it looks awful.

Six weeks later the same blonde comes in for another haircut. The hairdresser pleads with her, "Please take your headphones off - I can make your hair look beautiful." Once again the blonde replies, "I can't, I'll die". So she receives another awful haircut.

Six weeks later the blonde show up at the salon and once again the hairdresser says, "Please take your headphones off - I can make your hair beautiful if you would just take off the headphones". And once again the blonde replies, "I can't, I'll die".

The hairstylist proceeds to cut her hair. While doing so the blonde falls asleep. The hairstylist quickly thinks to herself - I will remove the headphones and replace them before she wakes up, I'll make her hair beautiful. Seconds after doing this the blonde falls off the chair. The hairdresser checked her and she wasn't breathing.

Dying to know what was keeping her alive with the headphones on, The hairsytlist places them on her head. And she hears............

"Breathe in, breathe out - breathe in, breath out - ........"

Your Hair Should Be Blue

Wild, brilliant, and out of control. You're a risk taker with an eye to the future.

Previously at Miss Cellania: Haircut, Beauty, Body Hair, Bald Men, and Real Beauty.

Thought for today: Never purchase beauty products in a hardware store. -Miss Piggy

This post originally appeared on March 15th, 2006.

humor links video funny hair beauty grooming salon

You might guess that I do have one particular favorite brand of brassiere. I never understood why I should cross my heart (is that a pledge to tell the truth?), I’m not going to wear any bra for 18 hours, and the very idea of a living bra is too creepy. Playtex is fine for Grandma, Bali is pretty for those who are already perfect, but give me a Wonderbra anyday. For many years, all I wore was $10 discount store bras, and made jokes about my flat chest. Then ye olde bra fitter at the fancy schmancy department store opened my eyes to the way it could be. A $40 bra? You betcha... it makes me look that much better as to be worth its weight in gold (as if I could afford that). But is it just an illusion? The standard joke about the Wonderbra is that when you take it off, he wonders where it all went. Believe me, it’s still there, it’s just wandered off to wherever gravity deems. But as long as the bra is on, it’s magic!

Fan-made Wonderbra Ad (via YesButNoButYes)

The Wonderbra site. They are showcasing the new Variable Cleavage style that has an adjustable slider in the front, allowing you to rachet up the cleavage illusion. Yes, it’s magic. 

Wonderbra vs. Cadbury Gorilla. Which do you prefer?

Another clever Wonderbra ad.

The Wonderbra Hills.

24 Unusual Bras. (via the Presurfer)

Underwear Tug of War.

The Cardrona Bra Fence in New Zealand.

The Bikini Butt Bra. (via GiggleSugar)

On the importance of boobs.

Q: Whats the difference between a Wonderbra and the French World Cup squad?
A: A Wonderbra has decent support and a cup.

The Magic Bra

A woman went to the doctor asking for larger breasts. The doctor gave her the choice of either having implants or wearing a magic bra. "When you flap your arms up and down, the bra inflates," the doctor explained. Of course, the women chose the bra.

The next day she was out at a bar with girlfriends and noticed an attractive man sitting at the end of the bar. Flapping her arms, she strolled over to flirt with the man and he started flapping his legs.

"I see we have the same doctor," the man said.

BOOBICONS

 
(o)(o) Perfect breasts

( + )( + ) Fake silicone breasts

(*)(*) Perky breasts

(@)(@) Big nipple breasts

oo A cups

{ O }{ O } D cups

( ^ )( ^ ) Cold breasts

(o)(O) Lopsided breasts

(Q)(O) Pierced Breasts

(p)(p) Hanging Tassels Breasts

\ o /\ o/ Grandma's Breasts

( - )( - ) Against The Shower Door Breasts

| o | | o | Android Breasts

($)($) Martha Stewart's Breasts

And of course,

(oYo) Wonderbra breasts.

Previously at Miss Cellania: Bras, Bras 2,  Breasts, Underwear, Underthings, Underwear and Lingerie, and Fresh Underwear. 

Thought for today: In the last couple of weeks, I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts? -Jay Leno

humor jokes video funny games breasts brassiere breasts lingerie Wonderbra underwear

 

My older daughter constantly needs new shoes because she is growing, and my younger daughter has more than she can wear. Gothgrrl doesn’t outgrow shoes before she gets more. She has a steady supply from her sister, so she feels no need to keep up with her shoes at all. Princess never has more than one pair of tennis shoes and one pair of Mary Janes that fit, but does that cause her to keep up with them? Noooo! She’s at a point now where she can wear my shoes, and its easier for her to take a pair of mine than look for hers. And she’s noticed I have several pair...  seven pairs of shoes and three pairs of boots. Why? because I never outgrow shoes. Some of those are twenty years old, and some are secondhand. But I take care of them.  



Taking the boots off. (via Dark Roasted Blend)

iShoes. Roll your way to work at 15 mph. (via Unique Daily)

Lots of weird shoes. (via the Presurfer)

The Virtual Shoe Museum.

I dreamt (sic) I had a lot of toes. (via the Presurfer)

A waitress in China has refused a disability pension even though she was born with feet that face backwards. She says she can work fine, and can run faster than you can!

How to paint your shoes. (via Everlasting Blort)

A kitten, a mirror, and a pair of shoes.

Modern priorities.

This looks like some kind of apparatus for shoe fetishists, but its a real shoe tester, in an article from 1938. (via Scribal Terror)

Art made from recycled shoes.

NEW BOOTS

A young man bought a new pair of boots, of which he was very proud. So he decided to go dancing and give them a try. After dancing with one lady for a few minutes, he said, "I bet you I can guess the color of your panties."

"Okay," she replied. "What color do you think they are?"

"Blue," he answered.

"How did you know that?" she asked.

"I saw the reflection in my shiny new boots," he said.

"Here," she said, "dance with my sister and tell her what color she has on."

After dancing a while, the young man started rubbing his toes on his pant cuffs, then started to dance again. After a few minutes he asked the second lady, "What color panties do you have on? I can't seem to make them out."

To which she replied, "I don't have any panties on."

With a sigh of relief the young man said, "Oh good. For a minute I thought I had a crack in my new boots."

SWOLLEN FEET

(via Phil’s Phun)
A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.

"I'll be right back with some water," the doctor tells him.

The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat.

He hobbles back into the examining room.

The doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water.

"Ok,after the tablet dissolves, soak that leg for at least 30 minutes.

Bigfoot. Size 13.5

Thought for today: Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

humor jokes video funny games shoes boots footwear feet

People have been going nuts looking up “Halloween Costumes” on Google. How do I know? An awful lot of them end up here, checking out my previous posts on the subject. But every year, there’s a new crop of costume to die for, and costumes that make you wish you were dead. I don’t remember Halloween costumes from my childhood (it was so long ago), but I’ve had plenty as an adult. Strangely, they have all been recycled. Whatever I wore on Halloween was made for an earlier event. I’ve been the Easter Bunny, Supergirl, and a leprechaun for radio promotions. I don't think I wore the leprechaun outfit for Halloween, but one year I was the Easter Bunny. That got some laughs! I was Strawberry Shortcake one year in a retail sales promotion. My Rocky Horror costume was for, uh, Rocky Horror screenings. My Star Trek uniform was for cons. One of these days, I’ll get those pictures scanned. But not today.



This Halloween -Nikki Katt

Raisin Hell. The story of a fourth grader and the coolest costume in the world. Or so he thought.

Around Halloween, you find yourself uttering words that could get you arrested any other time of the year.

Double Viking’s favorite Halloween costumes.

Top 10 Topical Halloween Costumes Everyone Will Be Wearing Even Though We Wish They Wouldn’t. (via Gorilla Mask)

The Talking Rat Cap. This would be a real conversation-starter at a party. Literally. (via Everlasting Blort)

This guy was just a bystander. (via Unique Daily)

The cleverest Pacman costume ever. (via Dump Trumpet)

Aw, man, look at this poor kid. So what if it's Photoshopped, that expression is priceless! (via My 2 Second Shelf Life)

Create your own realistic werewolf costume.

The 30 Most Unsettling German Halloween Costumes. (via Unique Daily)

Flying Spaghetti Monster costume.

Tips on making your own FSM costume.

Sandy Walsh’s costume from 2004 called “Frylock”.

Miss Cellania is a Vampire!

You have a real thirst for bliss, and you consider yourself a true hedonist. And you're not afraid to walk alone in life, if it means getting what you truly crave. You truly enjoy entrancing people. Not to mention the ensuing pleasures of the flesh. Your tastes have been called decadent and bizarre. You usually give in to your temptations, no matter how primal. Your greatest power: Your flawless ability to seduce and charm. Your greatest weakness: Human flesh. You play well with: Werewolves

You can’t do your own elf ears. You just can’t. But here are instructions to do someone else’s.

The Do-It-Yourself Optimus Prime Halloween Costume.

Reposting in case you missed it a couple of weeks ago: Ten Epic Halloween Costumes. And then there’s the followup, where mental_floss readers share their most memorable costumes.

Yip Yips

ROCKY

One Halloween a trick-or-treater came to my door dressed as 'Rocky' in boxing gloves and satin shorts. Soon after I gave him some goodies, he returned for more.

"Aren't you the same 'Rocky' who left my doorstep a few minutes ago?" I asked.

"Yes," he replied, "but now I'm the sequel. I'll be back three more times tonight too."

YOU CAN’T WIN

There once was a man with a bald head and a peg leg who was in need of a Halloween costume. So he wrote to a costume company, who promptly sent him a bandana and a hook so he could be a pirate.

Outraged that they were making fun of his peg leg, he fired off a complaint letter. In order to please him, the costume company sent him a monk’s costume saying that it would be perfect for his baldhead.

Now outraged that they were making fun of his baldhead, the man sent another angry letter. Soon after, another package arrived in the mail — a package of caramel. Attached was a note:

“Stick the peg leg up your ass, dip your head in caramel, and go as a caramel apple.”

Previously at Miss Cellania: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly and Halloween Costumes

Thought for today: If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not. -Jack Handy

humor jokes video funny Halloween costumes