Shorties

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it.

"This is the Klopman diamond," she said. "It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."

"What's the curse?" the man asked.

"Mr. Klopman."

*****

The wife coyly tried to explain her purchase of a new pair of expensive imported panties. "After all, dear," she said to her husband, "You wouldn't expect to find fine perfume in a cheap bottle, would you?"

"No," her husband replied. "Nor would I expect to find gift wrapping on a dead beaver."

*****

Diet advisor: Did you say you're a light eater? You must weigh over 300 pounds!

Overweight man: That's right. As soon as it's light, I start eating.

*****

As a surprise, a chief executive's wife decides to pop by his office, where she finds her husband in an unorthodox position, with his attractive secretary sitting in his lap.

He immediately spots her and without hesitation, starts dictating: 'And in conclusion, gentlemen, credit crunch or no credit crunch, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair.

****

Wife to overweight husband: Last night there were two pieces of cake in this pantry and now there is only one. How do you explain that?

Husband: I guess it was so dark that I didn't see the other piece.

Comments

[jerrykolbe]

two guys are showering, and changing after a round of golf. one sees the other putting on a bra.
"how long you been wearing that Bill?" he asks his buddy.
"ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment." answers bill.