Gas Pains

It occurred to me the other day that back when I first started driving, I could earn enough to fill my tank by working one hour at my minimum-wage job. Now I make way more than minimum wage (which has also risen), and it takes me about five hours of work to fill my gas tank. Granted, I have a bigger gas tank now in the Mamamobile, but that because I'm supporting a family. I also figured I am driving a LOT less now than when I was a teenager running the roads just to see where they went. Now I'm going to get all sentimotional about those days... (sniff) Excuse me, I'm feeling somewhat verklempt. Take a moment and read these jokes, and I'll try to pull myself together. (update: in the two years since this was written, gas prices have soared. Now it takes ten hours of minimum wage work to fill the tank!)



Find the cheapest gas prices in your city. If you don't live in a city, that's too bad!

If that doesn't work, try this one. (Thanks, Beth!)

Is it worth the extra gas to drive across town for lower gas prices? Calculate it here.

Watch the video I Can't Afford My Gasoline. (Thanks Linda!)

Golden Lucy on gas prices.

25 ways to save money at the gas pump.

"Republicans in Congress are demanding that President Bush investigate whether oil companies are now gouging consumers on these gas prices. That's a good idea, Republicans asking Republicans to investigate other Republicans. And you know who they're going to blame? The Democrats." --Jay Leno

"Gas prices continue to rise. At the gas station near my house they have a slot for your credit card and one right next to it for your 401K." --Jay Leno

Gas Prices vs ?
People have been complaining about the rising price of gasoline recently, but I have always thought that gas was a good value (especially if you were to take the $0.30, $0.40 per gallon tax off at the pump)! Obviously others need a little convincing. So the article in this week's "Autoweek" magazine brought it all to light. What if you were to buy a gallon of . . .

1. - Diet Snapple 16 oz for $1.29 = $10.32 per gallon
2. - Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz for $1.19 = $9.52 per gallon
3. - Gatorade 20 oz for $1.59 = $10.17 per gallon
4. - Ocean Spray 16 oz for $1.25 = $10.00 per gallon
5. - Quart of Milk 16 oz for $1.59 = $6.32 per gallon
6. - Evian (water) 9 oz for $1.49 = $21.19 per gallon
7. - STP Brake Fluid 12 oz for $3.15 = $33.60 per gallon
8. - Vicks Nyquil 6 oz for $8.35 = $178.13 per gallon
9. - Pepto Bismol 4 oz for $3.85 = $123.20 per gallon
10. - Whiteout 7 oz for $1.39 = $254.17 per gallon
11. - Scope 1.5 oz for $0.99 = $84.84 per gallon
So next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on Nyquil or Scope or Whiteout!

OIL SHORTAGE (Thanks, Ken!)
A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America.

Well, there's a very simple answer.

Nobody bothered to check the oil.

We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. Our OIL is located in Alaska, California, Oklahoma, and Texas.

Our DIPSTICKS are located in Washington DC!

The Petroleum Institute's Top 10 Reasons for the increase in gasoline prices:
10. Hussein threatened to invade Houston if we didn't raise prices.
9. We're doing our part to reduce global warming.
8. Demand is increasing, or decreasing, something like that.
7. We were hoping you wouldn't notice.
6. The consultant we hired to do this list is gouging us.
5. We're going to raise enough money to bail out the S&L's.
4. It's not a price increase, it's a user fee.
3. We want to see if gas pumps can count that fast.
2. There was a big oil spill in Alask... no, that was last time.
1. There was a sudden surge in demand for fuel to fly Dan Rather all over the Middle East.

by Greg Scott, with contributions from Mike Hildreth, Michael Yurko, and Robert Taft.
















Thought for today: Public transportation is so shocking to the individual that it should only be done in private.

This post originally appeared on May 5, 2006.

humor jokes video funny games gasoline oil gas petroleum crude

Comments

[Carlos]

A friend and I were just talking about filling up our tanks when we were younger; when we'd ask our friends to pitch in $.50 or maybe even a dollar for gas. My how times have changed. Love your blog.

[Tennessee Jed]

I know it is all in how you look at it when faced with money problems like gas cost. I guess if you consider how a car carries a load down the road it is worth the cost vs. walking and packing all that stuff around. I have said that I would work for a penny a year if it would pay my bills and keep me comfortable and healthy.

[Saur��Kraut]

Another great post, Miss C! I LOVE The Petroleum Institute's Top 10 Reasons for the increase in gasoline prices. I also tried the first link and I found that Hess was cheapest in my area (which I already had guessed).

[LZ Blogger]

This whole gas prices stuff has given me well frankly... GAS! Compared to "White Out" though... it looks like a DEAL! I don't know how you continue to come up with this hilarious STUFF day after day! Do you ever sleep? I can't help it I am just LAZY! ~ jb///

[cassie-b]

What a great post. I learned lots of stuff.

People who buy bottled iced tea are missing it. You can make it at home at an absolute fraction of the price.

The gas thing is awful. And if you've been listening, and who hasn't, the gas companies are making enormous profits. Someone needs to take them to task.

[Marti]

Terific post (as always!)

Hope you have a great weekend!

[rockyjay]

The last time I was in Orlando gas was $0.95; and that doesn't mean it was that long time ago, just that the price has gotten far, far up and away. Fortunately, I've got some Exxon-Mobile shares, which are 50% up; and with that money I can buy gas for next five years.

*evil laughter*

BTW: If the price of beer would follow the price of gas, a six-pack would cost close to twenty bucks ($20)...

[rockyjay]

The last time I was in Orlando gas was $0.95; and that doesn't mean it was that long time ago, just that the price has gotten far, far up and away. Fortunately, I've got some Exxon-Mobile shares, which are 50% up; and with that money I can buy gas for next five years.

*evil laughter*

BTW: If the price of beer would follow the price of gas, a six-pack would cost close to twenty bucks ($20)...

[Miss Cellania]

Carlos, yeah, me too!

Tennessee Jed, I agree. Money is only important when you are hungry. Elsewise, its all gravy!

Saur, Marti, and JB, thanks!

Cassie, I make sun tea, no sugar (which is blasphemy around here)!

Rockyjay, beer prices were like that here a couple years ago, when the area was dry. Believe it or don't!

[TNChick]

Tea with no sugar? OMG insane, I tell you. LOL

Gas pains - Ouch.

I just wanted to say thanks for the info on the flower. I had no idea what it was and several of you did - I'm glad. Thanks. :)

[shesa]

Here in Tampere Finland it's $9.57 a gallon...

[GassedFeathers]

Eh...ain't nuthin' but a thang. I was broke before gas went up ;-)

[Mike]

10. - Whiteout 7 oz for $1.39 = $254.17 per gallon

Decimal point!

[Tuxedo]

Average gasoline cost here in the UK is $9.92 a gallon, and we're getting by; at least it's not HP Black ink at about $2650 a gallon!

Isn't it a bit strange to have, at the end of a post on rising gas prices, a criticism of public transport?

[Miss Cellania]

Yes, it is, Tuxedo. I saw that the other day and thought "what was I thinking?" when I first posted it two years ago. But I was too lazy to go find a better quote.

[SpyOne]

I'd just like to say that I'm not exactly a spring chicken, but I have never been able to fill my tank on an hour's pay.

When I started working, in 1986, an hour's pay bought a bit over 3 gallons. And that's about what I earn today: 3 gallons an hour. Of course, back then I was making minimum wage, and today I make nearly double that, so ....

If you think gas is terrible, look at cars. Or houses.
In 1970, a person working a minimum wage job could buy a brand new car, and a nice one like a Camaro RS, for less than they made in a year. My father bought a 4 bedroom house for about 6 years' pay at a minimum-wage job in 1970.
Try to find a decent new car for $12,000 (one year at current minimum wage), or a house for $73,000.

In my life, I have watched as owning a home or a new car became harder and harder for average people. I watched hard working adults forced to sell their homes because its value had quintupled since they bought it and they could no longer afford the taxes. And I have watched "consumer debt" become a worse and worse problem, as people struggle to buy the things their parents bought easily.


Who cares that gas has doubled in price relative to minumum wage: people making minimum wage can't afford a car in the first place.

[JarvisW]

Too bad no one wants to blame true causes.

Like the fact that the Democrats and Environmentalists have blocked Refinery's and Nuclear Power plants for over 30 years. If we had kept building them THEN, then the ones running now would be much cleaner than the ones we have, and we wouldn't be dependent on foreign oils, who can raise the price to whatever they want to right now.

Its ok, blame the evil Republicans, and live in denial. (I'm NOT a Repub, just can see the truth)

[Lee Wei]

The notion that nuclear power and more refineries are behind the current gasoline crunch is laughable. The bulk of the price of gasoline is the oil we're refining to make it. Some fairly reliable sources estimate that oil costs make up roughly 70% of gas prices. Demand from the emerging nations of China and India coupled with the spiraling U.S. dollar explain do a much better job the enormous cost of fuel than knuckleheaded environmentalists and Democrats. Electricity is already quite cheap compared to petroleum, yet electrically-powered vehicles are nearly unheard-of.

[JarvisW]

The Enviromentalists have blocked us from drilling our OWN oil. There are plenty of wells that have been shut down do to mindless regulation. If that had not happend, and we did have more refineries, we would not be subject to foreign oil now.

If you want lower prices, then ask the Demoncrats (who promised in 06 to fix this problem, but haven't done anything about it) to drop the taxes on it, which is 2-3 times the PROFIT big oil makes on a gallon of gas. But no, that would be giving up the golden goose, and I've never seen a Democrat give BACK the peoples money.

But like I said, blame the Repubs, and live in denial.

[Jamie]

It doesn't matter who stopped what....

What does matter is how we live our lives. It blame others does not solve our problems it just allows us to deny the truth of the matter. We are competing for a limited resource with many other nations.

BTW Play worldwithoutoil.org

Quiting oil like any drug, requires willpower.

[Brian]

You think you've got problems? Try living in the UK. Petrol(gasoline) prices are around £1.15/litre (equivalent to $8.50 per US gallon) Diesel is even worse. You've got it easy.