Clocks
Mom told me my first word was “clock”. Not "mama", not "daddy", but "clock". Weird. She said I had a favorite clock that I was kind of attached to. I even took it apart, after which it never worked again. I don’t recall any of that, of course, but as an adult I learned the value of clocks, and the value of being able to estimate time without one. Such talent comes in real handy in broadcasting. My kids aren’t so time-conscious. One doesn’t quite get analog time, even though most of our clocks have old-fashioned dials. If I say it’s 15 til, she doesn’t know what that means. If I say it’s 7:45, she knows she’d better hurry to get to school. Sigh.
The Fly and the Cuckoo Clock
How Super-Precise Atomic Clocks Will Change the World in a Decade. The National Institute of Standards and Technology is up to a lot more than telling us what time it is; each of their clocks is exponentially better than the one before.
Alarm Clocks. The ones that really wake you up in style.
The Farting Cow Clock of Edinburgh. (via Grow-A-Brain)
Roger Wood’s whimsical steampunk clocks are to die for!
Break Free from the Tyranny of the Clock! Using your body’s natural rhythms has to be good for you, but your boss probably won’t like it.
Dali Clocks. There are more available than you’d think!
Clock that spells the hour.
Aluna, the world’s first tidal powered moon clock.
Not everyone is impressed by clocks.
SLOW CLOCK
A wife complains, "Our wall clock almost killed my mother today. It fell only seconds after she got up from the couch."
The husband mumbles, "Damn clock always was slow."
NOON
Every Monday morning for years, at about 11:30 am, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact time. One day the operator summed-up the nerve to ask him why the regularity.
"I'm foreman of the local sawmill," he explained. "Every day, I have to blow the whistle at noon, so I call you to get the exact time."
The operator giggled, "That's really funny," she said. "All this time, we've been setting our clock by your whistle.
Mafia Logic
(via Bits and Pieces)
An old Italian Mafia ‘Don’ is dying and he calls his grandson to his bed. “Lissin-a me. I wanna for you to taka my chrome plated 38 revolver so you always remember me.”
“But, Grandpa, I really don’t lika guns. Howz about you leava me your Rolex watch instead?”
“Shuddup an’a lissin. Somma day you gonna runna da business. You gonna have a beautifula wife, lotsa money, a bigga home and maybe a couple a bambinos. Somma day you gonna comma home and maybe find your wife inna bed with a nother man. Whadda you gonna do then……, Pointa to you watch and say, ‘Times up’?”
Five O’Clock at the Clock Shop
Previously at Miss Cellania: Time Travel
Thought for today: Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life. -William Faulkner
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