A curious phenomena this week: all the sudden I’m getting tons of emails from PR folks wanting to send me free samples of this and that. It’s happened a few times before, but few and far between. And they aren’t writing me because of Neatorama or mental_floss, they are wanting me to mention their product here at Miss Cellania! I don’t really understand, since I don’t have much traffic, and certainly no more than I did last year. Still, although I’ve done it before, I’m not going to make a habit of mentioning products for a little free swag. I got plenty of that in radio without having to do anything! Here, I sell advertising. If you want something on this site, it will either be entertaining enough to qualify as content, or else you’ll have to pay for it. That said, I still welcome any joke or link suggestions from anyone, even your own stuff. If it’s good, it will go up sooner or later on one site or another. If not, rest assured I appreciate the suggestions anyway. If you’re selling deodorant or soda pop, buy an ad.



Animated Graffiti (via Neatorama)

The 6 Most Frequently Quoted Bullsh*t Statistics.

7 Wizards… or are they all the same guy?

Stephen Colbert defends Bill O’Reilly on the recently-surfaced tape of him losing it on the set of Inside Edition. In solidarity with his hero, Colbert drags out a tape of the time he pulled a similar tantrum.

How to Love a Lego Lunatic. A ten point system for dealing with your significant other’s obsession.

Charles Barkley Does a Ron Burgundy. A classic TelePrompTer prank for which he fell hook, line, and sinker.

THE MAID

(Thanks, Rich!)
Olga, the maid announced to her boss, Mrs. Blanco, that she was quitting.

When Mrs. Blanco asked why, Olga replied, "I'm in the family way."

Mrs. Blanco was totally surprised and shocked, and asked who the father could be.

"Your husband and your son," replied Olga.

Mortified, Mrs. Blanco demanded an explanation.

"Well," Olga explained, "I go to the library to clean it and your husband say, 'You are in the way'. I go to the living room to clean and your son say 'You are in my way'. So I'm in the family way and I can't do the work you hired me to do so I quit."

The Idiot Test. I think I passed... does that mean I’m an idiot?

Send $10 to The Something Store, and they will send you something. You won’t know what it is until you open it, but hey, it’s only ten dollars! Free shipping!

When you put an individually-wrapped cheese slice on a barbecue grill, the plastic will inflate while the cheese melts and boils. The object of the sport of cheese racing is to see whose slice reaches full inflation first.

25 of the Strangest Collections on the Web.

How president Bush is portrayed in international advertisements.

Truth in Website Logos.

Long before internet shopping, Wile E. Coyote got all his products via mail order from the ACME Catalog. ACME sold just about anything you’d ever need! You can take a look at the catalog yourself. (via Dump Trumpet)

How to make your eye feel like it's closed, when it's actually open. This is why pirates wore eye patches, for instant night vision. Let me know if it works for you.

The weirdest news stories of the week.

TRAVELING SALESMEN

(via Phil’s Phun)
Farmer Jones lives with his tame bear in the remote country with only dirt access roads.

His tame bear had been naughty that day so he put him in the barn and said "You stay here until you learn how to behave yourself."

Shortly afterwards it begin to rain (a real heavy downpour). About an hour later a traveling salesman got stuck in the mud
and asked the Farmer for a place to stay.

The Farmer told him he didn't have room in the house, however he could stay in the barn. He told the salesman there were no lights in the barn and his tame bear was in the barn. The Farmer said the bear would not bother him. The salesman went to the barn.

Later another traveling salesman got stuck in the mud and the Farmer told him about the barn-no lights and the tame bear. The salesmen left for the barn.

One hour later a woman got stuck in the mud and approached the Farmer. He told her about the barn and mentioned the two travelling salesmen (he was so concerned about the salesmen he forgot to mention the bear).

The woman said, "I can take care of myself." and left for the barn.

Two hours later the Farmer was awakened by heavy knocking at the door. When opening the door the woman was standing there with her clothes torn and rumpled. The Farmer said, "Good heavens what happened to you?"

The woman replied,  "I give up on human nature, the first guy gave me forty dollars, the second guy gave me fifty dollars, but that cheap bastard in the fur coat never even said thanks."

Thought for today: If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.

PS: Remember, you’ll have a head start on the links of the week if you check out Miss C Recommends every day!

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