Marriage Woes

There’s (almost) nothing worse than a bad marriage -when you’re in it, itching to get out. People stay in bad marriages because 1. they stick to their vows, B. for the kids, and 3. fear. I don’t understand the fear. There’s fear of poverty, although I can tell you from experience that poverty is not as bad as the fear of poverty. There’s fear of loneliness, and I’ll tell you from experience that as bad as loneliness is, it beats being miserable. OK, that’s enough serious stuff. Good marriages have plenty of opportunity for comedy, but bad marriages have even more.



Sexual Communication

Here’s a husband you don’t want. Too bad so many women already have him. (Thanks, Jan!)

This study found that for each 16-point rise in a woman’s IQ, her marriage prospects declined by 40%. Is it any wonder that smart women are dying their hair blond?

Some folks stay together because they are afraid they can’t do any better.

To the guy doing my wife.

marriedtothesea.com

 

SHORTIES

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes

A couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish, too but he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!" 

THE ROBBERY

(Thanks, Rich!)
A man robs a bank and takes hostages.

He asks the first hostage, "did you see me rob the bank".

The hostage answers "yes".

The robber, promptly, shoots him in the head.

Then he asks the second hostage if he saw him rob the bank.

The hostage answers, "no, but my wife did".

FOURTH MARRIAGE

(via Old Horsetail Snake)
A woman announces to her best friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.

"How wonderful," the friend intones. "But I hope you don't mind my asking, what happened to your first husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

"Well, what happened to your second husband?"

"He also ate poisonous mushrooms and died."

"Oh, how terrible. I'm almost afraid to ask about the third husband."

"He died of a broken neck?"

A broken neck?"

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

Previously at Miss Cellania: Marriage, Mars and Venus: Marriage, Mars and Venus: Living Together, Cheating, Divorce, and Divorce or Murder?

Thought for today: I still miss my "EX" but my aim is improving.

PS: If you came here looking for something on April Fool's Day, just click the link!

humor jokes video funny games marriage relationship divorce husband wife spouse

Comments

[HermitFeathers]

There was a time I kinda got a taste of marriage woes, back in a rather bad engagement over 13 years ago; now, when I hear "marriage", I just say "whoa!"

[Jack K.]

One secret to a long, happy marriage:

"Yes, ma'am", or "No, ma'am", or "Whatever pleases you my love." Oh, and you better be sincere when you say it. tee hee.

btw, it has worked for 40 years.

You are absolutely correct about humor being an important part of marriage. It helps make it successful.

[Marti]

LOL! Those were great ( no foolin'!) Hope you have a fabulous April first!