Happy New Year, everyone! January first, 2008 is as good a time as any to make a brand new start. New plans, new opportunities, new attitude, whatever, the time is right to start making your dreams come true. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it’s that we are all responsible for our own happiness. And if there’s two things I’ve learned, it’s that you are about as happy as you decide you’re gonna be. And if there’s three things I’ve learned in life, it’s that you never get your house repaired by the lowest bidder. But that’s enough wisdom for now... there’s a whole new year ahead to fill with time wasters, funny stories, and various and sundry amusements. So let’s get started!  



In 2007 (via YesButNoButYes)

6 New Year Traditions from Around the World.

Pole dancing! The Seven Deadly Sinners have a collection of New Year’s images of drunks dancing with lamp posts.

A Few Leftover Lists from 2007

2007: The Year in Cats.

Fark Headline of the Year contest. Then there are headline contests for entertainment,  sports, weird stories, and the best puns.

Co-Ed Magazine posted their Top 25 Sexiest Female Athletes of 2007. You can vote on your favorite!

Vote for the Sexiest Geeks of 2007.

The Ten Worst Movies of 2007.

Idiot of the Year Awards. (via Bits and Pieces)

Transbuddha’s Game of the Year, and a game for each month.

Reuters’ Top Ten Weird Stories of 2007.

Top Baby Names of 2007.

Now on to 2008!

2008 Sucks button available here for $1.99. (via the Presurfer)

2008 Web Predictions. They think a lot of company trading will happen. Like always.

7 Technologies that will Save the Earth in 2008. If these can be made affordable, people will line up to use them.

Bloggers have prediction for 2008, too. Here are J-Walk’s predictions for 2008. Wendell Witt weighs in again. Wulfweard the White tries his hand at predictions. And Frogster, too!

New Year’s Jokes

Did you hear what the dyslexic Highway Patrolman did on New Year's?
He spent the whole night handing out I.U.D.'s
***
Carl's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence with numerous guests arriving.  During the evening, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the kitchen. 

He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face.
'You know,' he confided to Carl, 'I wasn't even invited to this party.  I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my drive.'  

He continued, 'My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved, so that we can go out.'
***
Sally was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to George, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'

'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered George smiling broadly.

At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, George approached Sally and handed her small package.  Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: The Meaning of Dreams.

Check out this New Year card I got from Curious Expeditions! --->

News Predictions for 2008

January: After paying five billion dollars for The Wall Street Journal, Rupert Murdoch will reduce the size of the paper by removing the facts.

February: Responding to the controversy over the CIAs’ waterboarding videotapes, President Bush will reaffirm his administration’s opposition to videotaping. 

March: As the writers strike drags on, Paramount will produce the second “Transformers” film without a script, just like they did with the first one.

April: Monica Lewinsky will announce her candidacy for President of the United States. She will offer herself as an alternative to Hillary, saying, “It worked before.”

May: Attempting to bolster flagging enlistment rates, the Army will change its recruitment slogan from “Army Strong” to “I Can’t Believe It’s Not a Civil War.” 

June: Population experts will warn that the world’s population will soar in 2008, largely due to the Spears sisters.

July: China will send a new brand of rat poison to the United States under the name “Delicious Cupcakes.”

August: Sen. Edward Kennedy will abandon plans to write his memoirs, explaining, “I can’t even remember what I did last night.”

September: At the Republican National Convention, G.O.P. nominee Mike Huckabee will select Jesus Christ as his running mate. 

October: O.J. Simpson will be convicted in Las Vegas, proving that it is easier to get away with murder than stealing sports memorabilia.

November: President-elect Michael Bloomberg will defend the five- billion-dollar cost of his campaign, arguing, “Rupert Murdoch paid that much for The Wall Street Journal, and I get a whole country.”

December: In his last official act, President Bush will announce an exit strategy from Iraq. The President will withdraw all U.S. troops – through Iran.

Same Old Lang Syne -Dan Folgelberg

Blog Blonde tagged me for a meme. Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like. That’s a hard one, since I don’t post about such things, but here I go:
Family  Playhouse (‘cause it was for my kids)
Friend Boys Gone Wild (a gift from my bud April)
Myself  Sex and the Single Blogger (yeah, right)
My Love  Chocolate, Coffee, Chocolate and Coffee, Coffee and Chocolate (I couldn’t make up my mind)
Anything  Monty Python (what did you expect? The Spanish Inquisition?)
If you like this meme, consider yourself tagged.

Previously at Miss Cellania: New Years Day 2007

Thought for today: Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.  ~Benjamin Franklin Thanks, Ben, maybe I’ll find him this year!

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