Monkey Business

People used to say that if you took a million monkeys and a million typewriters and gave them a million years, eventually someone would produce Shakespearian-quality writing. Then the internet came along, and we have millions of monkeys pounding away at millions of keyboards (myself included), and it hasn’t taken us a million years to figure out that it ain’t gonna happen. They are so like us, yet just enough different to make a monkey or an ape doing human things seem tremendously funny. I wonder if monkeys in the wild laugh at us! The title picture is from Animaux Humoristiques. (via Grow-A-Brain)



Chimpanzee hosting a talk show.

Monkey Kickoff. How far can YOU kick the ball?

Monkey vs. Toddler. Which should you invest in?

Ten Famous Monkeys in Science.

Look At This has a great collection of Monkey-ed Movies. You’ll enjoy these.

Monkeys steal drinks at a Carribean resort and get hammered.

Top 3 Moments in Monkey-peeing History. (warning: gross)

Even gorillas can be henpecked.

A chimp and his dog take the train. (via Japan Probe)

GORILLA EXTERMINATOR

A man woke up one morning, looked out the window, and saw a huge gorilla in the tree in his back yard. Feeling very nervous, he grabbed the phone book and looked up 'gorilla exterminators' in the Yellow Pages.

He called the exterminator, who said he would be right out. The exterminator arrived in a van, hopped out, and opened the door. He took out a large net, a shotgun, and a fierce-looking dog.

"OK", he said, "this is how it works, I climb the tree and shake it and the gorilla falls to the ground. The dog runs over and bites him in a vital spot. While he's disabled, you throw the net over him. I'll come down and we'll tie him up".

As the exterminator started up the tree, the man called, "What do I do with the shotgun?"

The exterminator said, "Sometimes when I shake the tree, the gorilla shakes it back and I fall out of the tree. If that happens ...... you shoot the dog".

A CHIMP WALKS INTO A BAR

A barman was astonished one day when a chimpanzee came into his bar ordered a beer and gave him a tenner.

Pretty smart thought the barman, but he'll have no idea of what money means and gives him a pound back in the change

"Don't get many chimps in here." says the barman conversationally (I mean, come on, what else would you say?)

"Not surprised" says the chimp quaffing his beer "at 9 pounds a pint it's no wonder."

Chimp walks dogs

Previously at Miss Cellania: Apes and Monkeys and Monkeys and Apes

Thought for today: An example from the monkey: the higher it climbs, the more you see of its behind.

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Comments

[Eurico]

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Saudações Brasileiras!

Eurico
www.muitofirme.net

[Chimpfeathers]

I am sure your opening thesis is correct: enough chimps with keyboards could probably come up with not only a workable email scam, but an amusing email scambait, too.

[Jean-Luc Picard]

The gorilla exterminator story is a super one!

[RennyBA]

So I was sitting here on a Friday evening, drinking red wine and eating crackers and cheese and was wondering where to get a good laugh?
So I checked in on your of course and you never disappoint your readers - the Chimp walks dog was great!

Cheers and have a great end to your week too:-)

[Jack Ruttan]

Those monkey movies were funny, but unless they were made by monkeys, I worry about them. Still, I'm sure the stars enjoy a good monkey freakout once in a while, and it would be interesting to see the actors filmed trying to keep up with them, voice-synch-wise.

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