Birdbrain

Remember a couple of weeks back when I told about finding a birdsnest in my tomato trellis? It was a wren, who laid four eggs total. She’s quite a birdbrain, because whenever I went to the garden, she immediately signalled her location by flying out of the nest and up to a tree. Maybe she’s young, but I wondered whether other creatures affected her in this manner. Apparently so, because the next time I peeked at the nest, there were only two eggs left. And a week later, no eggs. It could’ve been a snake, or a possum, or maybe some predatory bird. But I guess that’s nature’s way, making sure the mother survives to lay more eggs next year. I just hope she’s smarter by then, and builds a nest higher than four feet off the ground.

 
This penguin doesn’t want you to pet him. (via Arbroath)

Danger Bird hitches a ride.

Bad news about the screaching bird on Rossmore...

Chicken suits.

Birds of Paradise

Male Birds of Paradise in Papua, New Guinea have a bizarre courtship dance you must see to believe. His “housecleaning” beforehand is pretty impressive, too.

Five pages of pictures of hummingbirds, from birth to flight. On the last page, you'll find out how REALLY tiny they are. (Thanks, Eva!)

Bird Deterrant Fails. (via Arbroath)

In the news: 45 parrots missing from NYC pet shop.

PARAKEET

A fellow walks into a pet store and asks to buy a canary. The proprietor replies, "I'm fresh out, but I DO have a parakeet." The customer insists on a canary, until the shop owner informs him that a parakeet can be made to sound like a canary if one files the beak just so. "But be careful not to file too much off, or the parakeet will drown when he goes to take a drink of water." The potential customer decides that this is complete bullshit, but thanks the shop owner politely and leaves, sans parakeet.

He goes into another pet shop and asks for a canary -- no luck. "But", says the shop owner, "I do have a parakeet, and if you file the beak just so, it can be made to sound just like a canary." He goes on to explain that filing off too much beak will jeopardize the bird's life, due to the potential for drowning when he takes a drink. The fellow finally decides that there is some merit to these claims and buys the parakeet. "Besides", he thinks to himself, "parakeets are much cheaper."

His next stop is a hardware store, where he wanders into the file section, holding his recently purchased bird. The owner wanders by and asks of he needs some help. The new bird owner sheepishly explains how he intends to make his parakeet sing like a canary.

The hardware store owner knowingly picks up a file and hands it to him. "Here, a Nichols #2 bastard file. But be careful not to file too much off, or the poor beastie might drown." The bird and file owner thanks the hardware store owner and leaves for home.

A few weeks later, the bird owner wanders into the hardware store. The owner, recognizing him, asks how he made out with the parakeet. The fellow looks down and sadly reports "Bird's dead".

The hardware store owner shares his sorrow and asks "Filed off too much beak?"

To which the former bird owner replies "Nah, he was dead when I took him out of the vise."

Endangered Meal

A forest ranger is making rounds in a remote part of the wooded reserve when he comes across an unkempt man, sitting at a makeshift campfire. To the ranger's horror, the man is eating a fish and a bald eagle.

The ranger arrests the man and puts him jail. He is brought before a judge the next morning.

The Judge asked the man, "Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?"

"Yes I do," replied the man, "but please let me explain what happened."

"You may proceed."

"I got lost in the woods, and hadn't had anything real to eat for two weeks," the man explained. "I was so hungry, I was eating plants to stay alive."

"Then one day, I arrive at a lake. I see a Bald Eagle swooping down to the water and flying away with a fish in its talons. I thought, 'if I startled the Eagle, maybe I could steal the fish.'"

"Low and behold, the eagle lighted upon a nearby tree stump to eat the fish. So, I picked up a rock and threw it. I meant to hit the stump and startle the bird. I hoped he would drop the fish and fly away."

"Unfortunately, in my weakened condition, my aim was off. The rock hit the eagle squarely on his poor little head, and killed it. I agonized over what had happened, but I figured that since it was dead I might as well eat it."

The judge says he will take a recess to analyze the defendant's statement. 15 minutes pass, and the judge returns.

"Due to the extreme circumstances, and because you did not intend to kill the eagle, the court will dismiss the charges." The
Judge then leans over the bench and whispers, "If you don't mind my asking, what does a bald eagle taste like?"

"Well your honor, it is hard to explain. The best way I can describe it is that its much more tender than a California Condor, but the meat is bland compared to a Spotted Owl."

AJ the Parrot

Previously at Miss Cellania: Birds, Flamingos and Other Birds, Chickens, Ducks, The Penguin Post, and Peacocks.

Thought for Today: A pet store had a  bird contest with no perches necessary.

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humor jokes video funny pets birds avian birdbrain parrots

Comments

[LBB]

That comic is choice.

BTW, the only creature other than a bug that I've killed is a bird. I shot one once. I felt awful for a week following.

[Archie]

Oh dear, now look what you've made me do :)

I stole the parakeet.

[Skunkfeathers]

Speaking of nesting proclivities...at work, the attached parking structure winds up serving as a large nesting facility to several of the local bird species. Though, not without hazards to the hatchlings, when they get around to trying their wings: namely, traffic. One of my employees was highly annoyed one morning, because he found several such young 'uns "in harms way", and he was unable to catch them. He went on to rant about "us building on their land", etc., etc. Being a mellow day, I took a stroll in the structure and caught seven of the young 'uns, putting them where they could fly to nearby trees when they got good and ready. Two more had been introduced to the laws of Darwin and Detroit. Later that morning, I informed him that seven of the nine were now on their own, lurking back in their natural environment; picking up on the less than 100% number, he asked, "what about the other two? Couldn't they fly?"

"Sure, if you threw 'em like a Frisbee".

He wasn't amused ;-)

[Miss Cellania]

Skunk, that's like the Monty Python sketch about the man with the flying cat:

Interviewer: And how does the cat fly?

Man: I fling her.

[threecollie]

Really like the bird videos. Birds of Paradise and Parrot are amazing.

[old horsetail snake]

I love birdies, so thank you very much for this.