Miss Cellania

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And this, fellow readers, is why Miss Cellania is probably the best writer we've ever had. A thing of beauty. -YesButNoButYes

...Miss Cellania who’s wonderfully funny and knowledgeable and also happens to write for Mental Floss. Her personal blog is updated as often as any multi-contributor blog site and has some wonderful gems... -Infinite Well

Miss Cellania has links, doctored-up photos staring Miss C. herself and YouTube videos from anywhere and everywhere on the internet. If it's funny, you'll probably see it first on her blog. -Suzanne Broughton

Miss Cellania has a site that is to die for. Whenever it’s time for a bit of a smile, interspersed with a gaffaw or two, I head on over there. -Compass Points

If you’re jonesing for more links you may want to visit Miss Cellania’s blog. Or should I say blogs. She’s like the blogosphere’s version of that Jamaican family from In Living Color. She has more blogs than they had jobs. If she starts contributing to one more blog I’m going to stage an intervention. -Cynical-C

I could never in a million years come up with half the wonderful facts, news, links et al that pepper every post she creates. -Mad Baggage

It’s a fantastic set of funny and interesting links, jokes and pictures that she compiled *every day*! -Neatorama

She finds the coolest, funniest stuff day after day. How on earth she does this I have no clue. -NYC Educator

I don't even know how I found Miss C, but I remember the first time I was there, I burned my chocolate chip cookies. I just couldn't stop browsing! Fun stuff over there. -Boomer Chick

If you're not regularly heading over and reading her well compiled, link-filled-goodness posts already, then maybe you should take a step back and do some self reflection and introspection to make sure your life is headed the direction it needs to be and that you're on a path that is fulfilling to you and your fellow man, as a person and as an American. -Hoodlumman

Funniest woman alive. -Pixie

It is quite possibly one of the most extensive sites I have seen for links to humourous content. It is a virtual encyclopedia for a myriad of different jokes on different topics and still growing. So a good site and worth checking out, theres definitely something for everyone, or anyone whos up for a laugh that is! -Mr. Joe Blog

BTW - you quite possibly put together the best, most well researched content on the web, bigtime kudos to you! -Anita B

One place I keep going back to is Miss Cellania. She really has it going on over there. Her posts are chock full of stuff I've never seen before, along with a few old favorites I had forgotten about. Anyone that can consistently come up with that much good stuff deserves kudos. -Blue Beaver Beer

Miss Cellania - is a great read, and there’s more than enough laughs to kill an evening with, on any given day. Miss C has her fingers on the pulse of every joke on the web that you haven’t seen yet. -Saskboy

(Funny, if a tad lowbrow) -Utopia Moment

Fabulous as usual..I appreciate all of the effort..and I am truly humbled. -Homo Escapeons

I'm not even sure why I thought her post is funny, but it is. That's all you're getting from me. Go read it. -konagod

YAY! Miss Cellania knows I'm alive!! -Fuzzy Dave

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« Wal*Mart | Main | June 16 Links »
Sunday
17Jun2007

Father's Day

fathercool_lg2.gifI have learned from experience that one of the most important things a father does is demand that a child respect the mother. Thats also one of the things I miss the most since my children have no father. A wise person once said (and I wish I remembered who is was) that the greatest thing a father can do is to love his child’s mother. Both boys and girls need that example of how to get along with the opposite sex. Girls who have loving fathers grow up to seek a solid man to love. Boys who have that example treat women well. You can’t underestimate the importance of a good father. If you have one, thank your lucky stars. If you are one, you have a tremendous responsibility even when you don’t get any immediate feedback. I once had a fantastic father, and I can still see his legacy in the way my brother treats his wife and kids. That being said, lets move on to the funnier side of Father’s Day.



A big collection of funny Fathers Day videos. Most of them NOT for children.

Hoss on the origin of Father’s Dayfathersday card.gif.

Raggedy has a post for fathers of teenage daughters.

Along the same lines, there’s fathering humor on my earlier posts on Teenage Daughters, and Teenage Boys.

Genuine was interviewed for newspaper article on fathering.

Ten Father’s Day Gifts that Actually Make Sense.

Five Kids Toys that father’s Would LOVE to Receive!

For those approaching fatherhood, here are The Top Ten Myths of Fatherhood Debunked.

Tips for the Modern Dad.

And one for you guys who DON’T want to embark on fatherhood.

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say

10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

father_baby_eyes.jpg 8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.

7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.

6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no big deal.

littlebush.jpg


DAD’S GARDEN


An old man lived alone. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who used to help him, was in jail. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, don't dig up the garden plot, that's where I buried the bodies!!
Love, Son

At 4 a.m. the next morning, the local police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. A few days later the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Son

This is a fine opportunity to share one of my favorite cartoons, the one where Popeye finds his long-lost Pappy on Goon Island.

THE PROUD FATHER

(Thanks, Eva!)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The mafathers-dayluke.jpgn decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

Good news! Men are living longer these days.

Yes, I found a game for Father’s day, a super-violent game called Dad ‘n’ Me.

Thought for today: If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact thatfatherday comment.png whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. - Bill Cosby

PS Extra-special Happy Father’s Day wishes for Hoss, Wulfweard, Carl, Ed, Nick, Kirby, Peter, ER, Joel, and John

This post originally appeared on June 16, 2006.

 

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Reader Comments (20)

Why thank you Miss C, that was a very nice thought.
06.16.06 @ 09:46AM | Unregistered CommenterPeter
Ha, found you through Boing Boing, actually. Love your posts, definitely bookmarking you. Thanks for the laughs.
06.16.06 @ 10:20AM | Unregistered CommenterKarl
Thanks, Karl! I woke to a deluge of visitors thanks to Boingboing and Neatorama, but I wondered if ANY of them would be back tmorrow!
06.16.06 @ 10:28AM | Registered CommenterMiss Cellania
Thank you, Miss C. I hope to live up to your wishes.
06.16.06 @ 11:00AM | Unregistered Commenteractor212
Directions are for pussies anyway.

I've never been lost -- however, sometimes it has taken a little longer than anticipated to get from point A to point B. That I admit.
06.16.06 @ 11:57AM | Unregistered Commenterrockyjay
In read a line in a Stephen King book that went like this:

"My mother taught me everything I needed to know to survive.

But my dad taught me the magic."

I've always loved that line because to me it represented what fathers are really all about, teaching their kids to see the fun part of life, as well as its beauty, like looking at a gorgeous sunset, or going bug catching or yes, how to burp the alphabet.

And that's ceratinly not downplaying the role of mothers, because if you read the line again you'll see it says mothers teach their kids how to survive.

Yeah, okay, they probably both do a little of both but you get my point.

My mom taught me how to cook, and wash dishes and clean bathrooms and all that stuff (and yeah, we had some fun too) but it was my dad who was the fun adventurous one, and that's how I try to be with my kids.

I love nothing more than watching an X-Men movie with my son or traipsing through a field with my daughter looking for neat bugs.

Anyway, sorry for the long comment (heck, it's almost a post in itself) but I've always loved being a father. I may not be the best one around but I love it and I give it my best shot.
06.16.06 @ 01:29PM | Unregistered CommenterOldGuy
Dear Missy: thanks, and happy Mother's Day 2007 to you (in case I'm not around to wish it. heh).
06.16.06 @ 03:15PM | Unregistered CommenterOld Horsetail Snake
Loved yesterday's post. What I want to know is why folks can't tell the difference between plural's and possessives (sic!). Drives the old lady bats.

Fathers' Day has always been problematic for me. Mine was such a loser that I never had a model for what a good father and husband might be. So of course I did not choose wisely! I think that's still my biggest complaint with Pappy Dearest.

However, I'll celebrate tomorrow with four of the finest men I know---my son and grandsons. That makes it all better for me!

BTW, I think everybody ought to honor you single moms as well on Fathers' Day. So Happy Fathers" Day Mom!!
06.16.06 @ 04:37PM | Unregistered Commentergoldenlucy
You have a great site, I enjoyed my visit. Thank you so much for your visit yesterday. My day was made very special by my many friends and new visitors who came by.

I have seen you often at several of my friends site and know you must be special to visit with them often. I hope we will be visiting again soon.

BTW--Single moms should be recognized on Father's Day for they serve two very important functions....Mom and Dad....so on Sunday enjoy your day. :)
06.16.06 @ 07:41PM | Unregistered CommenterVickie
Miss C, I just had to comment again, because I had to do a double take to make sure that nursery was called "PURSLey's"....
06.16.06 @ 08:02PM | Unregistered Commenteractor212
That was WONDERFUL. Thank you for that. The best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother is exactly right on.
06.16.06 @ 08:48PM | Unregistered CommenterHula Doula
I agree with goldenlucy & Miss Vickie that you are serving in a dual role so should celebrate Father's Day on Sunday, too. I am sure the girls would like to take you to dinner but if they are like my grandkids & you let them pick the place, be ready to order a Big Mac! This will be my first one alone since Annie died so it will be kind of hard. A year ago we were camping with the motorhome in Spokane & went to dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, the Longhorn BBQ. This year I may take myself & my memories to dinner at Outback, one of our favorites in our neighborhood.

Thanks for your visits & comments. You are welcome anytime.
06.16.06 @ 08:56PM | Unregistered CommenterDick
That list was a hoot!
06.17.07 @ 02:56AM | Unregistered CommenterLBB
I loved the list of things you'd never hear a father say!
06.17.07 @ 10:45AM | Unregistered CommenterJean-Luc Picard
Thanks for the father's day tribute and for the extra wishes too. How thoughtful and sweet. What a special person you are.

If a person has trouble as a parent, it is my belief that they just have to be patient, hang in there, and eventually it will all work out. I don't want to speak too soon, but I think I may finally be getting to the point where my son sees me no longer as the cause of all his problems but as a resource to help him make progress along life's way, so patience and love do pay off.

I've been worried about Raggedy. I hope she gets better soon.

You take care, and best wishes always, Ed.
06.17.07 @ 10:49AM | Unregistered CommenterEd
"8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that."

AHEM!

Not only did *I* say this to her, I said this to her about HER attitude! I only felt the need to warn her about the consequences...

Oh...and number 1...I've said that too.
06.17.07 @ 03:09PM | Unregistered Commenteractor212
Great post, Miss C! Funny, funny, funny.
06.17.07 @ 03:46PM | Unregistered CommenterJacq
Great post Miss C!
Thanks for the link too!
Enjoy your vacation!
Huggles and Love,
Raggedy
06.17.07 @ 04:49PM | Unregistered CommenterRaggedy
If I had any children, I would be the best father in the whole wide world. But I don't think that I do. So You guys have nothing to worry about from me. Happy Father's Day! to all you super Dads.
06.17.07 @ 04:49PM | Unregistered CommenterWalter
I don't have a teenage daughter yet but I have a 9 year old going on 16 so it makes life interesting.

Have a great day Miss C.
06.18.07 @ 09:54AM | Unregistered CommenterOldGuy

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