Whiskey and Other Refreshments
The area I live in has a rich history of alcohol. Even richer, because most of it is what they call a “dry area”, meaning you can’t legally buy alcohol. The rich history involves moonshine stills and bootleggers, which have all but dried up because its now more profitable and easier to conceal methamphetamine and oxycontin, if you’re the type of person who wants to make money the illegal way. It’s been a good ten years since I’ve had any ‘shine, but I remember it well. Served in a quart Mason jar, it had a faint aftertaste of Karo syrup. That’s good-it means it was made from 100% corn. Bad moonshine has a faint aftertaste of diesel fuel.
He flunked the sobriety test before he got started. (Thanks, Carl!)
Virtual Body Shots. Pick a body, pick a shot. Take a shot. (via Arbroath)
Fruity alcoholic drinks may be good for you!
The 86 Rules of Boozing.
The story of 42 Below Vodka. (Thanks, Whitesnake!)
STOLEN CAR
A man walked out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A street cop on his beat sees the guy and approaches him. "Can I help you, sir?" said the cop.
"Yesssh! Ssssshomebody ssshtole my car!" the man replied.
The policeman asked, "Where was the car the last time you saw it?"
"It wassss at the end of thisss key." the man replied.
About that time, the officer looked down to see that the man's "thing" was hanging out of his fly for all the world to see. He asked the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"
The man looked down woefully and without missing a beat, moans "Oh, God. They got my girlfriend too!"
The Baptism
(Thanks, Phil!)
Before performing a baptism, the Priest approached the young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step.
Are you prepared for it?"
"I think so," the man replied.
"My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for all of our guests."
"I don't mean that,"
The Priest responded. "I mean, are you prepared spiritually?"
"Oh, sure," came the reply.
"I've got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey." 
Previously on Miss Cellania: Drinking, Hangover, Alcohol, Tequila Beach Party, Beer, Beer Break, and Beer Technique.
Thought for today: I have a very high tolerance to alcohol. The problem is that I always get drunk long before I reach it. - Naomi Rose
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Reader Comments (6)
Speakin' of diesel fuel, I've had a couple of types of beer that had that kind of aftertaste...I wunner if...?
It literally can be lit with a match! They say it'll take the hair off of one's chest, and if you don't have hair on your chest it'll start to grow.
I tasted it once at the ripe age of 14. It's a wonder to this day that I ever tried to drink anything of the alcoholic nature.
Good post.