One more week of school, then two months of me and the kids 24/7. Just like the beginning of the school year, there are good points and bad points. I will no longer have to drag them out of bed at sunrise against their wills. I will no longer have to argue over what goes in their lunchboxes. I will no longer wash their clothing -they are capable of doing their own laundry, but not vigilant enough to keep enough clean for school. I will no longer have to decipher homework instructions they didn’t pay attention to when they should’ve. And I will no longer have to enforce an early bedtime. The downside is that it will be about three days before I hear complaints of boredom. This will be my second summer at home, but last year I didn’t have paid work to do. If I can keep them out of my hair long enough to get some work done everyday, it will be a miracle.

 
Always put your empties in the bin.


Congratulations to Zube Girl, who gave birth to Zube Baby who she's been waiting for many years!

Silent Movies from A Galaxy Far Far Away.

Pop-It. (via Transbuddha)

Headline of the week: Get A Taste of Angel’s Colon.

Great philosophy can sometimes be overheard, if you listen.

Scott Meyer has a wonderful comic strip called Basic Instructions. Recently, he asked his wife Missy to take over so he could have a break. (click to enlarge)

The weirdest tattoos ever. Very much NSFW.

A light made of ice? Yes, a ball of ice with an LED inside. Instructables has directions on making your own, with plenty of cool pictures. (via PAgent’s Progress)

Twatter. A global community of friends and strangers answering one simple question: Who are you doing?

The answer is NOT always C. Especially on a true/false quiz. (Thanks, Jan!)

Cat with Bow Golf. It took me til hole 4 to figure out how to play, but when I did it became a lot of fun. Funny, too! (via Metafilter)

Smoky the cat owes his life to the London Fire Department and Tom Reynolds from Random Acts of Reality. The cat was rescued from a house on fire in London and given oxygen and an ambulance ride to the local vetrinary hospital. (via Cynical-C) Here’s the LOLcat version.

AMBITION

A French woman took her little daughter to the Louvre where they saw a statue of a nude male. "What is that?" asked the child pointing to the penis.

"Nothing, nothing at all, Cherie," replied the mother.

"I want one," said the child. The mother tried to focus her daughter's attention on a more suitable subject, but the little girl persisted. "I want one just like that," she kept repeating.

At last the mother said, "If you are a good girl and stop thinking about it now, when you grow up, you will have one."

"And if I'm bad?" asked the little one.

"Then," answered the mother, "You will have many."

Henry Rollins on Wal*Mart.

Faces in Nature. (via Dump Trumpet)

Never rent to college students.

Lackadaisy is a webcomic about cats who run gin joints in St. Louis during Prohibition. Not only a rollicking story, but awesome artwork! The story begins here.

Laser Cut Cake!

An ontology is an explicit specification of a conceptualization. I don’t understand a word of this, but Boing Boing thought it was funny.

Have you ever opened a fortune cookie and wondered what was going through the mind of the person who wrote it? Here’s a collection of those! (via Dump Trumpet)

Amnesty International Campaign on Violence Against Women.

PUNS

(Thanks, Evajane!)
* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?   He's all right now.
* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
* A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement.  He became a hardened criminal.
* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.
* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard.  He did a number on it.
* The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
* If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
* The optometrist fell into his lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself. [That's a story that lens itself.]
* A backward poet writes inverse.
* In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
* With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
* When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
* You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
* He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
* A boiled egg is hard to beat.
* He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
* His parents thought he was a budding genius, but he turned out to be a blooming idiot.
* A plateau is a high form of flattery.
* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
* Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Thought for today: It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

Stumble this!