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Pirates
Pirates Wednesday
21Mar
Pirates
Wednesday, 03.21.07 @ 12:08AM
No, I’m not getting paid by Disney to post that. I saw it at PAgent’s Progress and couldn’t resist. My kids got a kick out of it, and no arm-twisting is needed for me to take a look at Johnny Depp. So it’s time to pull out the bulging pirate file and aaarrrrange some links and stuff for your enjoyment.
Pirates of the Caribbean: The Anime Version
Five things I’ll bet can be hard for pirates.
How to talk like a pirate. 
The Pirate Song. (Thanks, Bill!)
Arrrr! The Social Network for Pirates.
If Pirates held Press Conferences.
You Don’t Know Jack
The Dread Pirate Roberts Seminar.
Perfect for pirates: a toaster that imprints a skull and crossbones on your breakfast!
No, that wasn’t the worst pirate rap around. This is. (via Grow-A-Brain)
THE FALL
A pirate was standing on the crow's nest and then he slipped and fell. He fell through the first floor, then he fell through the
second floor, then he fell through the third floor and hit the bottom floor of the ship!
The first mate comes up to him and asks "Are ye all right matey?"
The pirate replies, "Arrr, yes... I've been through hardship before!"
EARS
There once was an old pirate captain, and this captain had a son who had no ears. One day the pirate captain picked up some new crew members. As the new recruits got on board the captain told them about his son, and
that he was very sensitive about the fact that he had no ears. He said that if they offended his son by saying any thing about his ears they would have to walk the plank! The new pirates were naturally nervous about meeting this boy.
Well, after a while some of the pirates met the boy. The first pirate tried not to look at him, but he couldn't handle it and kept staring. The boy yelled "What are you looking at!?"
Hurried to think of an excuse, the pirate said "I was just admiring your hand! Take care of your hand, or you will have to wear a hook like me."
"Thank you for the advice", said the boy.
Soon a second pirate encoutered the boy. When he stared at the boy the boy said "What are you looking at!?"
"I was just admiring your leg," said the pirate. "You take care of your leg, or you will have to wear a wooden leg like me!"
"Thank you for the advice," said the boy.
Later a third pirate encountered the boy and stared. When the boy said "What are you looking at!?"
The pirate said "I was just admiring your eyes. You take care of your eyes or you will have to wear glasses like me... and you can't wear glasses, because you don't have any ears to hold them up!"
Top Ten Pirate Pickup Lines
(via On the Other Foot)
10. Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?
9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?
8. Come on up and see me urchins.
7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.
6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.
5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?
4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?
3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.
2. Well blow me down?
And the number one pirate pickup line is...
1. Avast! Prepare to be boarded!
Previously on Miss Cellania: Talk Like A Pirate Day, Piracy, and Pirates of the Caribbean.
Thought for today: The average man will bristle if you say his father was dishonest, but he will brag a little if he discovers that his great-grandfather was a pirate. -Bern Williams
humor jokes video funny games pirates buccaneers Jolly Roger piracy Caribbean
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Reader Comments (8)
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And dere's pick up lines fer Pirate Queens, needless ta say!
10. What are YOU doing here?
9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye happy ta see me?
8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!
7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"
6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!
5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"
4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!
3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!
2. RAMMING SPEED!
...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:
1. You. Pants Off. Now!
It be half a y'ar til Talk Like A Pirate Day, MissC...
As always I am absolutely stunned by your execution and great sense of humor. Seriously.
You are a genuine Blognomenon!
Aaarh me dear, come to me vessle & I'll show ya me privateers.
http://www.talklikeapirateday.com/wordpress/