in 
Critters
Critters Friday
30Nov
Elephant Jokes
Friday, 11.30.07 @ 12:09AM 
Longtime readers here know my younger daughter loves elephants. She has a herd of them. Toys, art, and accessories, NOT real elephants. But she isn’t the only elephant lover around. There’s something about this strange animal that appeals to all of us. The elephant is the largest land mammal. It doesn’t pose much danger to people, as it is vegetarian. They are intelligent, and can be trained to do amazing things. They do everything with their noses, which is altogether fascinating. But kids’ fascination usually revolves around their size, and kids’ jokes are about the nonsensical juxtaposition of a huge being in a small person’s world. That’s cute. Many of us never outgrow that.
Elephants Playing Darts (via Arbroath)
Tuffi, the elephant who took a dive out of a train.
Video: A Gathering of Elephants.
How do you hide an elephant? (via Everlasting Blort)
Mythbusters takes on the old story about elephants being afraid of mice, with surprising results.
Those long noses come in handy. Elephants can smell danger! (via Rob’s Place)
Oops. Paris Hilton has nothing to do with drunk elephants.
Why elephant jokes are funny to kids (and not adults). (via Metafilter)
Elephant Shorts
(via Funny Pets)
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
Anything you want, it can't hear you.
What do you do with a green elephant?
Leave it on the tree until it's ripe.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A pachydermatologist.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Great holes all over Australia.
What goes thump, thump, squish thump, thump, squish?
An elephant with one wet shoe.
What happens when you run around in an elephant's stomach?
You get pooped out.
What time is it when ten elephants are chasing you?
Ten after one!
What vegetable do you get when an elephant walks through your garden?
Squash.
Why do elephants trumpet?
They don't know how to play the violin.
Why do elephants wear sandals?
So that they don't sink in the sand.
Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant
The French book The Sex Life of the Elephant
The English book Elephants I have Shot on Safari
The Welsh book The Elephant and its Influence on Welsh Language and Culture
The American book How to Make Bigger and Better Elephants
The Japanese book How to Make Smaller and Cheaper Elephants
The Finnish book What Do Elephants Think about Finnish People
The German book A Short Introduction to Elephants, Vol 1-6
The Icelandic book Defrosting an Elephant
The Canadian book Elephants: A Federal or State Issue?
The Swedish book How to Reduce your Taxes with an Elephant
The Swiss book The Country Through Which Hannibal Went With His Elephants
The Israeli book The Elephant and the Jewish Problem
The Danish book Elephants - 100 easy ways of cooking them
Previously at Miss Cellania: Elephants, Elephant Tales, and Elephant Appreciation Day.
Thought for today: My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. -Steven Wright
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Reader Comments (4)
*ducking boos and throwd items*