Darth Vader

My older daughter was deep in thought one day. As I watched her, I imagine her pondering the deep meaning of life and the universe. Then she said “Mom, I have a question,” Hmmm, I hope its something I can answer. “Who’s more famous, Walt Disney, or George Lucas?”

Kid, you are watching too many movies.

So am I, I suppose.

Gothgrrl still watches all six Star Wars movies over and over. At the video store, she discovered something new labeled Star Wars that she HAD to have. Honey, thats a game. We don't have the game system to play it. OK, but now she knows about "game systems" and wants one for Christmas. Til now, she thought ALL games were "free online.

Chad Vader Episode One

Chad Vader Episode Two

Chad Vader Episode Three

Also see Episodes Four, Five, Six, Seven, and Eight.

Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog, talks to Jedi Nerds.

Who’s on Force. Those of you of a certain age will appreciate this. (via Neatorama)

Dave Barry explains Star Wars.

Lovely art photographs of Star Wars characters in Paris.

These guys translated Star Wars into l33ts speak, but were threatened with legal action. So what did they do? They translated the cease and desist order into l33t speak.

Star Wars outtakes.

Coming soon (September), a Star Wars game involving Legos.

Listen to the Star Wars theme played on banjo... if you can stand it.

Darth Vader and Luke battle it out in this musical remix.

Yoda sings What A Wonderful World.

When Lucas said he wasn’t doing any more Star wars movies, you  just knew someone else would. Turns out EVERYONE is!
I put a search in YouTube for Star wars Episode 7, and got back a collection of those who would be the next George Lucas.

The TRUE ending to "The Empire Strikes Back"
A furious lightsaber duel is underway. DARTH VADER is backing LUKE SKYWALKER towards the end of the gantry. A quick move by Vader, chops off Luke's hand! It goes spinning off into the ventilation shaft. Luke backs away. He looks around, but realizes there's nowhere to go but straight down.

Darth Vader: Obi Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Luke: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!

Darth Vader: No... I am your father!

Luke: No, it's not true! It's impossible.

Darth Vader: Search your feelings... you know it to be true...

Luke: NO!

Darth Vader: Yes, it is true.. and you know what else? You know that brass droid of yours?

Luke: Threepio?

Darth Vader: Yes... Threepio... I built him... when I was 7 years old...

Luke: No...

Darth Vader: Seven years old? And what have you done? Look at yourself, no hand, no job, and couldn't even levitate your own ship out of the swamp...

Luke: I destroyed your precious Death Star!

Darth Vader: When you were 20! When I was 10, I single-handedly destroyed a Trade Federation Droid Control ship!

Luke: Well, it's not my fault...

Darth Vader: Oh, here we go... "Poor me... my father never gave me what I wanted for my birthday... boo hoo, my daddy's the Dark Lord of the Sith... waahhh wahhh!"

Luke: Shut up...

Darth Vader: You're a slacker! By the time I was you're age, I had exterminated the Jedi knights!

Luke: I used to race my T-16 through Beggar's Canyon!

Darth Vader: Oh, for the love of the Emperor... 10 years old, winner of the Boonta Eve Open... Only human to ever fly a Pod Racer... right here baby!

Luke looks down the shaft. Takes a step towards it.

Darth Vader: I was wrong... You're not my kid... I don't know whose you are, but you sure ain't mine...

Luke takes a step off the platform, hesitates, then plunges down the shaft.

Darth Vader looks after him.

Darth Vader: Get a haircut!

Darth Vader's Top Ten Pet Peeves

10. Having to live a good part of my live with the name 'Anakin.'

9. Obi-Wan Kenobi keeps appearing in the middle of the night saying 'I told you so!'

8. Boba Fett gets all the chicks.

7. All I did was torture hundreds of innocent people, wipe out an entire generation of Jedi Knights, assist in destroying the rightful government in exchange for a malevolent dictatorship, destroy a planet, torture my daughter that I didn't even know existed, chop off my son's hand and I'm the bad guy.

6. The way G.M. tries to skirt around installing new safety features (Whoops! Sorry, that's a Ralph Nader pet peeve).

5. That darn Energizer bunny.

4. Whenever I eat at a KFC, everyone jokes that I'll only eat dark meat.

3. Wiseguys who come up to me saying 'This is CNN.'

2. When appearing together at military functions, The Emperor always insists on wearing his 'I'm with stupid' T-shirt.

1. I'm seen as a dark lord representative of all that's evil, but Dick Cheney is a national celebrity.

DARTH OFF DUTY 

(click to enlarge) 

 

 

Previously on Miss Cellania:
Dath Vatter
Sith Happens
Muppet Wars
Jedi Film Festival
Take a Walk on the Dark Side  (adult)

Thought for today: I thought Star Wars was too wacky for the general public.  -George Lucas

humor jokes video funny Darth Vader Star Wars film parody Sith

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Comments

[Skunkfeathers]

I'm leaving a comment because some flake in a space Zorro outfit who's two months early for Halloween, and sounds like he's on the world's loudest ventilator, threatened me with his lite saber (a third less killories than a regular saber) if I didn't leave a comment.

It's best to entertain the disturbed by making small concessions, particularly since I think he's mad that I declared earlier this week that Pluto farts...

[jules]

I'm a little afraid of Vader. Especially since I recently quit the evil empire.

[wendell]

I guess my writing for MSNBC.com means I'm working 50% for the Evil Empire and 50% for the Fourth Place Network. I'm not sure which half is worse.

One of my unfinished (or barely started) movie scripts is a sci-fi satire (and big time copyright infringement) titled "Darth Nader: Interplanetary Consumer Advocate". I first came up with the idea in 1980 and the last joke ceased to be funny in 2000.

[Karen]

Oh my, I didn't notice Darth's "cod piece" before... ohhh myyy... LOL Add that with the light saber and.... ohhh never mind. ;-)

Gotta love Dave Berry, he always makes me laugh.

Darth's pet peeves were great. The Hello Kitty Vader, what a hoot!

Have a great day and may the laughter force be with you.

[Coll]

Would you believe I only ever saw the first Star Wars movie. Yes I know.. I must be the only such person in the world. :-)

[Jamie Dawn]

We are Star Wars fanatics too!!

Of the links I looked at, I must say that the Banjo Star Wars Theme was just toooo much! It kind of loses its powerful affect when played on the banjo. It's like Hick Star Wars.

Well, golly!
May that there plumb powerful force be with ya'll, ya hear?!

[Leon]

I will definately leave a comment for Miss Cellania! Excellent post!

[Senor]

Miss Cellania,

I bet Vadar's hair is all mushed down after he takes that helmet off.

Excellent post.

[nyceducator]

So sorry to hear your kid found out about video games. That's a slippery slope, and an expensive one too, I'm afraid.

How on earth did you keep it from her this long?

[Saskboy]

You have to mention http://www.storewars.org/flash/index.html Store Wars when talking about Vader. A gardener should like this one.

[Miss Cellania]

Saskboy, I could've sworn I've posted that before; its one of my favorites. But I can't find it now, so I must've overlooked it.

[Annie]

Miss C,

I'd been reading your site for a couple of days, and thought it was really funny, until I tried to bookmark a link from your site-- and I CAN'T. Why do you have it set up so that whenever we click on a link, it only shows your address in the address bar?? I really liked the 7 Deadly Sinners site, and tried to bookmark it, but instead your address showed up when i clicked "bookmark this." I'm sure the people you're linking to don't appreciate that your site is set up like this. I'm not trying to bring you down or anything (your site is really cool), I just don't understand why you'd do something like that. I'm so frustrated by it that I'm taking you off my bookmarked list at home and at work. Sorry.

[Miss Cellania]

Annie, I wish you had left an address. I did a little experimenting, and I think you must be using the URL http://misscellania.com I did not set it up this way, I don't know why that happens. If you use the URL http://www.misscellania.com (with the www), each post will have its own URL. Meanwhile, I will contact support about the anomoly.