Gender differences have always fascinated me. I've collected a lot of funnies about the subject, so here's another chapter in a recurring series. Now, before you read the rest of this, remember I LOVE men. I also have a high respect for women. I know that there are way more differences AMONG men and AMONG women than there are BETWEEN men and women as a group. The stereotypes can by funny, though, and you probably need a laugh. So take these as they are intended, just plain fun.

In this series, we’ve looked at communication and miscommunication, education, entertainment, and courtship. The main problem men and women must conquer is living together harmoniously. The gender differences can be complementary, or they can be just plain confusing.

This animation delightfully illustrates the differences between men and women. (via Arbroath)

What happens to boys who misbehave.

From the company that spends WAY too much on advertising comes Brawny Academy, a faux reality series about men sent to camp to learn how to please women. Only two episodes available so far, but you can sign up for updates. Time-consuming, but funny! (via the Presurfer)

How men keep house. OK, this is extreme, but I thought you’d get a kick out of it. I also have the news story behind this.

A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

In the interest of fair play, here’s how women use power tools.

RELATIONSHIP GLOSSARY

BACHELOR: A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

BRIDE: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

COMPROMISE: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

DIPLOMAT: A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.

GENTLEMAN: A husband who steadies the stepladder so that his wife will not fall while she paints the ceiling. A man who,

when his wife drops her knitting, kicks it over to her so that she can easily pick it up.

HOUSEWORK: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn't do it.

HUSBAND: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.

JOINT CHECKING ACCOUNT: A handy little device which permits the wife to beat the husband to the draw.

LOVE: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.

MISS: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.

MISTRESS: Something between a mister and a mattress.

MOTHER-IN-LAW: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

SPOUSE: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place.

WIFE: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.

HOW THINGS CHANGE

(Thanks, Eva!)

Well, it's not exactly a midlife crisis, but here's how things worked  out for me.

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey,  25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10- inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night  with a hot 25-year-old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV,  but I'm sleeping with a 50-year-old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a  hot 25-year-old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed...

THE RULES 

(via Raggedy)

1. The Female always makes THE RULES.
2. THE RULES are subject to change without notice.
3. No Male can possibly know all THE RULES.
4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all THE RULES, she must immediately change some of THE RULES.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If it appears the Female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused by something the Male did or said wrong.
7. If Rule #6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
8. The Female can change her mind at any time.
9. The Male must never change his mind without the express written consent of The Female.
10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The Female must, under no circumstances, let the Male know whether she wants him to be angry or upset.
13. The Male is expected to read the mind of the Female at all times.
14. At all times, what is important is what the Female meant, not what she said.
15. If the Male doesn't abide by THE RULES, it is because he can't take the heat, lacks backbone, and is a wimp.
16. If the Female has PMS, all THE RULES are null and void and the Male must cater to her every whim.
17. If the Male, at any time, believes he is right, he must refer to Rule #5.

A View from the Other Side: The Useless Men posted about Mars and Venus, further proving that where a man is coming from is somewhere in outer space.

Previously on Miss Cellania:
The Mars and Venus posts from the old site.
The Mars and Venus posts from the new site.

Thought for today: "The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine would be union of a deaf man to a blind woman."
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

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