Bad Parenting

No one is an expert on child rearing. Let me rephrase that.. everyone is an expert on child rearing, until they have a child. Then they are as confused as every other parent. Little by little, you become an expert in THIS child ONLY, and WHOOPS the child changes into something else completely, an older child with all new ways to confound you. Then maybe you have another child, and NOTHING you learned the first time around applies to the second. There are so many ways to screw up. So I’m bringing you some examples of such bad parenting that maybe you’ll feel a little better about your own skills. And maybe you’ll have a laugh along the way!

You can start by naming your baby a bad bad thing.
The Bad baby Names blog found some horrendous examples.

NAMING THE BABY

Some friends were hoping their second child would be a girl, and they even had a name picked out. The ultrasound didn't reveal the baby's sex, though, and since the expectant father had orders from the Navy to ship out before the due date, he told his wife, "We'd better pick out a boy's name, just in case." But when it was time for him to report for duty, they still hadn't decided. At sea a few weeks later, he got notification that his son, Justin Kase, had been born. -- Contributed by Rich Elkins

A little girl is afraid of her own shadow.

The Childless Couple. (Thanks, Saur!)

Why you shouldn’t send sabotage links.

Another poor kid, another sabotage.

How to beat your kid.

A 12 year old boy was described by his stepmother as "unbelievably defiant," saying among other things: "He objects to going to bed but then sleeps well. He does a good deal of daydreaming and when asked about it he says 'I don't know.' He turns the room's lights on when there is broad sunlight outside." So the doctor gave him a lobotomy.

POISON CONTROL

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center.

Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital.

She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation she happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the ER right away.

We’ve all lost our tempers dealing with children. Maybe you can take comfort that you’ve not gone off like Psycho Mom. Unless you have! Audio not for children.

How to embarass your children.

The Classic Chainsaw Prank.

THE PRAYER

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
The wife answered: "Just say what you hear Mommy say,"
The daughter bowed her head and said: "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people over to dinner?"

Gallery of Cruelty

(click to enlarge)

Thought for today: Most of us became parents long before we have stopped being children. -Mignon McLaughlin

(obviously, somebody was cruel enough to name their child Mignon)

humor video children parenting child jokes

Comments

[Simon]

Great cartoons. V Funny.

[Duke of Earle]

Good stuff. Everybody should be able to relate to this post. Well... maybe not about the bad names!! (I hope!)

John

[Karen]

The gallery of cruelty was funny, I hadn't seen those cartoons before.

I always thought that parents were being raised along with the kids, at least that is what my parents always said.

Have a great day!

[actor212]

I've always maintained that, if you need a license to drive a car, you ought to need a license to raise a child.

Think about it: if not done properly, your vehicle careens out of control.

[rockyjay]

The park I do my daily jogging has ducks with ducklings.

First there were 20 ducklings. Then 15. 10 and finally 7.

Not bad; almost 30% survived. Bad parenting? Maybe?

[Penny]

WOW ... that psycho mom really needs help! I have a feeling she's helping develop a new generation of psycho-kids!

[USELESS MAN]

I'm just waiting for the day when the kids realize all I am is a glorified ATM machine.

[Miss Cellania]

Simon, John, Karen, thank you!

Carl, this very idea comes up often in the adoption community, since you must prove your worthiness to adopt, but nature and luck grant children to all kinds of people who aren't fit. But people change, and no one wants their rights impinged upon, so there is no one-size-fits-all solution.

In making this post, I had to draw a line somewhere between humor and child abuse. The only link that crosses the line (I think) is the lobotomy story, and I included that because it was years ago, and that most likely would not happen today.

Rocky Jay, I believe thats called "survival of the fittest". Nature can be cruel.

Penny, Psycho Mom was outrageous, but I'm pretty sure the son she's yelling at is legally an adult.

Useless Man, an ATM machine is very useful! ;-)

[Skunkfeathers57]

Being a bachelor, I have avoided the "bad parent" stigma, including being deemed a magic-money-tree-fed ATM ;-)

[RisibleGirl]

Oh those poor little ducklings!

[aka_monty]

"everyone is an expert on child rearing, until they have a child"
OH that is exactly right. :) My sister, 24, thinks she knows every damn thing and hasn't even been around any kids but mine. *sigh*

Even after having helped raise my brother and sister, I had a moment of doubt the first time I went to go diaper my own kid. ;)

[Joe the Troll]

In college I met a girl named Myleen Dick. I never had a harder time not laughing in someone's face.

[Jack Willoughby]

About 30 years ago, when I was a (relatively) young patrolman on the New Orleans P.D., my partner and I answered a call of some kind or the other and the lady who made the complaint (what ever it it might have been) had a small child in her arms. Being polite, I asked the child's name. I don't remember what it was, only that it had about four syllables and sounded like a noise description rather than a name. 'What an interesting name," I said with polite interest. 'Where ever did you get it?' The new mother smiled proudly and said, "Me and my friend made it up." What a horrible thing to do to a child. Don't give children "interesting names." Try John, Jack, Sue or Sally.

WoFat

[poopie]

Ah yes...the childless are always the first to pipe up with helpful advice. I also love the ones who say "my child will never______"

[Raggedy]

The chainsaw vid says no longer available. I will see if I can find it somewhere.

I sure enjoy your site! Thanks!

Hugs

[Miss Cellania]

Thanks for the heads up, Raggedy! I think I've found another copy that will work.

Poopie and Monty, YOU know what I'm talking about!

Risible, I read somewhere that the ducklings in the photos were fished out of the drain by the photographer and other bystanders. Hope thats true1!

Skunk, no need to gloat.

Joe, thats so funny, it HAS to be true!

Jack, I agree. My kids have very boring names, which will work well when they serve in the US Supereme Court.

[Laurie]

Oh, my! Those poor ducklings! I loved the monsters-under-the-bed cartoon. Hahahahahahaha!