Circus

Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls of all ages! Step right up and see the most amazing acts of all time at the circus! Boy, those words sure made you excited when you were a kid, right? Things are a bit different now. I’ve taken the kids to a few circuses in the last few years, and mainly they’ve been sad. Sure, they have elephants, but nowadays you can ride an elephant at a petting zoo. The best acts are on TV. People who used to be in side shows don’t look any weirder than a modern audience. But the fantasy of the old-time circus is still there. And if you can get to a metropolitan area, you can see the new-style animal-free Cirque de Soliel (or see it on TV). Hoss got to see it recently!

The history of the circus in America.

Bob Hope once wrote a monologue on the circus.

The Flying Trapeze Resource Page. In case you want to buy one, or take lessons, or look for a job.

Giants.

Blog of the day: Human Marvels.

TWO CANNIBALS WERE EATING A CLOWN, WHEN ONE TURNS TO THE OTHER AND SAYS: "DOES THIS TASTE FUNNY TO YOU?"

The Evil Clown Generator.

Top 18 Signs you’ve hired the wrong clown for your child’s party.

The International Clown Museum.

The Top Five Bad Clowns. 

Buy your clown shoes online at Jollywalkers.

THE DUCK

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of lager and a ham sandwich. The bartender looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the bartender.
"I see your ears are working," says the duck. "Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?" The bartender brings the sandwich and beer. "I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves. This continues for two weeks.
Then one day, the circus comes to town. The owner of the circus comes into the pub and the bartender says to him, "You own the circus? Listen, I know this duck that would be brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer and everything!"
"Sounds marvelous," says the circus owner, "get him to give me a call." So, the next day when the duck comes into the pub, the bartender says, "Hey, Mr. Duck, I've got it all set. I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!"
"Yeah?" says the duck. "Sounds great, where is it?"
"At the circus," says the bartender.
"The circus?" the duck inquires.
"That's right," replies the bartender.
"The circus? That place with the big tent? With all the animals? With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle?" asks the duck.
"That's right!" says the bartender.
The duck looks confused, "What in the hell would they want with a plasterer?"

THE AUDITION

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a man in his mid-twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde woman about the same age. The circus owner tells them, "I'm going to be honest with you, this is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you guys better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment: chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out  first?"

The girl says, "I'll go first." She ignores the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant  and begins to charge her. About half way there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them and rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He says, "I've never seen a display like that in my life."  He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?"

The young man replies. "No problem, just get that lion out of the way."

Another circus joke.

Thought for today: To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.  -Jack Handey

humor links circus funny clowns jokes sideshow bigtop

Comments

[goldenlucy]

Divine Miss C,
Luckily I wasn't offline for more than a day or two but it's taken a long time to catch up with you anyway! And I'm not done yet. So I'll be back. (And I'm glad I am!)
lucyd

[Joe the Troll]

Nice timing....I just rented "Shakes the Clown." I recognized Cookie immediately on that Museum page. I grew up watching Cookie.

[Skunkfeathers57]

Funny how you highlighted clowns the same week I applied the clown theme to my letter to a local auto dealership ;)

Perhaps that was the point...

[Karen]

I don't need a movie to be all mushy and sentimental, I have several favorites that aren't the typical chick flicks. I have a diverse taste in movies from silly to action and sci-fi to romance to drama. This was a fun post, I couldn't see some links because of the darn filters here are work :-(

Have a great day!

[Mike (ex scientia)]

That "Clowns taste funny" joke always cracked me up. But, so does - A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says. "So, why the long face?" .... sorry, I'll stop. :)

Thanx for the laugh.