Bananas
Wednesday, 11.08.06 @ 12:01AM 
Bear with me, please. It seems I’ve gone completely bananas today.
For your banana basics, see this Mental Floss article at Neatorama.
A gallery of folks wearing banana hats. (via the J-Walk Blog)
The International Banana Club.
Bananas sometimes have complex issues.
Enjoy the strange music video Banana Man.
Bananas and Cats.
The Big Bad Banana has quite a collection of banana stickers.
In 1983, Zimbabwe outlawed banana jokes.
A banana became an inadvertent star of this video! (via Arbroath)
Yet another banana song, Banana Phone.
THE TRAIN
Two men were about to travel by train for the first time in their lives. Each man brought a banana along for a snack. As the train was approaching a long tunnel about half an hour into the trip both men decided to eat their bananas. Suddenly the one man says, "Did you eat your banana yet?"
"No." Said the other.
"Well, don't touch it! I took one bite and I went blind!"
THE DOCTOR
A man goes to the doctor and he has a banana sticking out of each ear and corn in his nose. He says, "Doc, I don't feel well."
The doctor replies "Well, you're not eating right"!
TOP BANANAS
(in no particular order)
1. The dancing banana gif.
2. Josephine Baker and her banana skirt.
3. Woody Allen’s movie “Bananas”.
4. The Banana Boat Song by Harry Belafonte.
5. Chiquita Banana and the Chiquita Banana Song.
6. Banana republic, whether political or fashionable.
8. The Banana Splits, Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper, and Snork. Hear their theme song here.
9. Banana Man!
10. The humor in slipping on a banana peel.
THE BUS
A man is working on the buses in the US collecting tickets.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair.
On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"
"Yes" answers the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.
"Can I go?" the man asks.
"I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."
The man leaves and eventually gets a job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.
The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch ?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all United States electricity supply to The chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.
"What's your final wish ?" asks the executioner.
"Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?"
The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a brazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.
"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it," he asked.
"Nahh" said the bloke, "I'm just a really bad conductor"
From RockyJay, a Crash Course on How to Eat A Banana. You should know what to expect from a link down here at the bottom of the post.
Thought for today: Comedy is when you slip on a banana peel; tragedy is when I slip on a banana peel.
Reader Comments (17)
Some things are best forgotten...
I'm not a banana fan but I liked your post anyway :-)
Good thing I don't pick bananas for a living. I'd be screeching in fear if I saw a "deadly, black tarantula" coming from the stalks!!!! I wonder if that was Harry Belafonte's first job. heh
http://static.flickr.com/61/206638494_584ea08db9.jpg
I'm here now: http://underthebridge.wordpress.com/
I met Ken Bannister/Bananister the Top Banana back when his Banana Museum was in Pasadena. Obviously, I have not kept in touch.
Thank you for NOT linking to Kirk Cameron's strange video in which he tries to use the Banana to prove the Existence of God (I'm not linking to it either... no good can come from encouraging him... he's at least 3X crazier than Bananister).
And there was another musical Harry who did a great song about bananas: Harry Chapin's "30,000 Pounds of Bananas". One of his rare humorous story songs (but somebody still died in it) Lyrics here: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/30-000-Pounds-of-Bananas-lyrics-Harry-Chapin/A45FD3411AFEEBA848256CAA002DE7FE
And for the benefit of all, here are links to other animated dancing bananas (and yes, that domain name belongs to me - I'm no hotlinker)
a more elaborate bananadance: http://www.metacats.com/pics/bananadance.gif
a big bananadancer: http://www.metacats.com/pics/bananabig1.gif
and a bananapicklecarrotpepper: http://www.metacats.com/pics/bananapicklecarrotpepper.gif
I promise to resume my own blog real soon... I was on the road to recovery until I read the "bad conductor" joke... worst bait-and-switch since I bought my first car...
Happy Bananas!