November 5 Links
Sunday, 11.05.06 @ 12:04AM 
Twice last week I got complaints (not at this site) for posting something “old”. Like, two weeks old. What? Considering it is free content, I was tempted to ask if they wanted their money back. Besides being rude, it shows what an impatient generation the internet has spawned. If something came out two weeks ago, does that mean its not worth sharing? I have never judged the entertainment value of a link by its shelf-life, just by whether I find it worth sharing. There have been times that I sat on something for months in order to use it in the right context. And I’ll repost something if its worth it. As for the jokes, you guys know some of these are decades old, but they are still around because they are funny! Sometimes I’ll read a blog and see a joke or link I used long ago, but I don’t point it out. Doing so would only be rude and pointless. I mean, we’ve all been there one time or another. All in all, I believe its better to share and have fun than to be the latest cutting edge cool factor snob link bitch. And I have been out of town for several days as you read this, so you know the newest stuff I have is at the very least a week old. But if you haven’t already seen it, does it matter how old it is?
Looks like the cats are almost ripe enough to pick. Found at Just Elite.
Synthravels is the first online virtual travel agency. They offer tours of virtual worlds such as Second Life, Everquest, Star Wars Galaxies, the Matrix Online, and lots of other places you can only experience in cyberspace. This way, you can see areas you might be interested in without having to create a persona. They are also looking for experienced guides to lead tours. (via the Presurfer)
Culver City is the home of a clever piece of art, or vandalism, or comedy, or something. Someone said it looked like the work of Bill Stickers. (via Wendell Wit)
Dumb things that people do. Lots of stories here! (via Arbroath)
Copy this code and paste it into the address bar while you are at any site with pictures, and watch the pictures go flying! You can stop it by hitting the refresh button. (via Ursi’s Blog)
javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI=document.getElementsByTagName("img"); DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i-DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=(Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5)+"px"; DIS.top=(Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5)+"px"}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0);
When I came across this, I thought no way do I have time to watch an eight and a half minute segment. But I did, because its a great story about Skidboot, the dog who can understand English.
Grow a condom plant. This is a somewhat clever parlor trick that you can use to explain the principle of matter displacement and a simple chemical reaction to your children, after which you will have to explain condoms.
Fish School! Train your pet fish to do amazing tricks! (via Everlasting Blort)
Dave Chappelle: If Real Life Were Like the Internet (Thanks, Lorrie!)
HOMEWORK
(Thanks, Linda!)
Homework Policy
Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night.
Nightly Homework Schedule
15 minutes looking for the assignment
11 minutes calling a friend to get the assignment
23 minutes explaining to parents why the teacher is mean and really does not like children
8 minutes in the bathroom
10 minutes getting a snack
7 minutes checking the TV Guide
6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the homework
10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom (Dad, brother, sister) to do the assignment
Long Term Assignments
These are given the night before they are due. "Long Term" is a commitment to time that begins at 9:30 pm and ends at 11:50 pm.
It is important that the whole family is involved in the project so: It is imperative that one family member race to Wal*Mart for poster board, folder, colored pens, etc. (This may require multiple trips)
It is imperative that one family member ends up in tears (does not have to be student) One parent needs to stay up and complete the project. (This may required several hours on the internet researching the problem) The other parent needs to call the school to leave a message that the student will be out sick the following day.
Trailer for the Dixie Chicks movie Shut Up and Sing
Joel Veitch has a new epic animation called Blode 7. Blode is is mining Moon Meat in the Moon Meat mine.
The Hexadecimals Colors Game. The geekiest game ever. I am totally embarrassed to tell you I did very well on this.
Although chewing gum is an ancient practice, the US patent for chewing gum was granted in 1869 to a dentist! Bubblegum was invented in 1928. Watch the bubblegum manufacturing process, as well as videos on the making of contact lenses, CDs, cereal, holograms, and a lot of other products at How It's Made Videos. (via the Presurfer)
I got this quiz from Omegamom, who is an Emperor Penguin.
You are The Fool
The Fool is the card of infinite possibilities. The bag on the staff indicates that he has all he need to do or be anything he wants, he has only to stop and unpack. He is on his way to a brand new beginning. But the card carries a little bark of warning as well. Stop daydreaming and fantasizing and watch your step, lest you fall and end up looking the fool.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
How to Find Osama bin Laden
Take all American women who are within five years of menopause. Train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.
Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.
We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future.
We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already. And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing to lose.
We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!
We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.
Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please ... we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years ... we understand tribal warfare.
Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is for how they hide, launder, or cover up bank accounts and money sources. We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help!
Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.
I'm going to write my Congresswoman. You should, too!
Thought for today: On the other hand, you have different fingers.
humor jokes video funny games
Links
Reader Comments (9)
When I was first urged to start my blog last summer, I wasn't sure how it would go. But my long time friend, who lives in Germany, was really adamant about it. She and I used to write 12 page letters long before email was the thing after I left Europe and returned stateside.
So I figured, sure. I may or may not have something to say. It could mean the world to me and nothing to another person, but that's okay. I don't worry about it, I just type. It's all in good fun, a fulfilling hobby, and a great way to meet fantastic people.
Since I stole a joke from you, you are mentioned.
Loved the homework stuff. I remember surprising my mother with last minute projects. Now, as a parent, I have often gotten surprised myself.
Let me know when you gals find Osama bin Laden. I'm staying out of the way and let ya'll do your work.