Job Stuff
Friday, 11.24.06 @ 12:04AM 
Are you enjoying a long holiday weekend? Don’t have to put up with those annoying co-workers today, huh? Good for you! I’ve got an opportunity here for you to enjoy the company of other peoples’ annoying co-workers, and I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
If you thought you were unhappy with your job, you have to go see what they are saying at Disgruntled Workforce. These folks REALLY hate their jobs! If you do too, they’d like to hear your story.
Send your co-worker a completely anonymous message about what’s bothering you! (via Yesbutnobutyes)
Find Frank a Job is not so much a game as it is an interactive cartoon. Lift Frank up and drop him into a job site and see what happens. (via Ursi’s Blog)
Fighting boredom at work: Things to do when your colleague is away. (Thanks, Kiera!)
Which Office Moron Are You?
Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.
Rubber Bandit! Shoot rubber bands at your coworkers. (via Ursi’s blog)
A typical Monday on the job for Mike Ashley, who would rather go to work without pants.
Ten Reasons To Go To Work Naked
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
5. You want to see if it's like the dream.
6. So that with a little help from Muzak you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
10. No one steals your chair.
A BAD DAY AT WORK
(lifted from Holtie’s House)
Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio station in Ft.Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won.
Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool...
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial 'water heater'; this $20,000 piece of equipment sucks water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.
Within a few seconds my ass started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate.
When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my ass was swollen shut.
Love Rob
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your 
butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.
Previously on Miss Cellania: The Office and Get to Work!
Thought for today: If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.
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Reader Comments (8)
Happy Thanksgiving weekend :)