Skeletons

Bones and skeletons are big this time of year. I can't pass a porch without seeing another skeleton blowing in the breeze, in that sickly green-tinged glow-in-the-dark color. Not to mention the totally oxymoronic inflated skeletons. Some places you can find skeletons any time of the year, such as this Bone Church in Sedlec, the Czech Republic. Or in Papua New Guinea, where skeletons dance for tourists' photographs. And then there's Nichole Richie.

Spode Funerary Ware gives a whole new meaning to the concept of bone china. Yep, tableware made from human bones. (via Scribal Terror)

Make your own virtual skeleton at Bone Idol. The best creations go in to the gallery, where the top Bone Idol will be crowned on Halloween night. OK for kids!  (via Neatorama)

 This is a horrible thing to do to anyone, but oh so funny to watch!

See a skull in space!

Skull Illusions. (via the Seven Deadly Sinners)

These White Chocolate Sugar Skulls look mighty tasty! Recipe included.

 
Q: What did the skeleton say to the bartender?
A: Bring me three beers and a mop!

Q: Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: No body

Q: What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
A: Bone appetit !

Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with.

Q: What type of art do skeletons like?
A: Skull tures

Q: What did the skeleton say when his brother told a lie?
A: You can't fool me, I can see right through you.

Q: What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
A: I'm bone to be wild!

Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
A: He had no body to dance with.

Q: What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day?
A: Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.

Q: Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
A: Sherlock Bones.

Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton?
A: Napoleon bone-apart

Q: What instrument do skeletons play?
A: Trom-BONE.

Q: What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs!!!

Q: When does a skeleton laugh?
A: When something tickles his funny bone.

Q: Why didn't the skeleton eat the cafeteria food?
A: Because he didn't have the stomach for it!

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn't have the guts.

Q: Why are skeletons usually so calm?
A: Nothing gets under their skin !

Q: Why do skeletons hate winter?
A: Beacuse the cold goes right through them !

Q: Why are graveyards so noisy ?
A: Because of all the coffin !

Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party ?
A: He had no body to go with !










No bones here, this is a sand sculpture!^

Everyone loves to see a skeleton dance.. its just plain funny. The earliest example I could find to put here is Disney's 1929 animated short "The Skeleton Dance". Here's a page about it. And here's the movie.

You can download dancing skeletons for your own wallpaper here. Test your skeleton knowledge by putting these bones back together (good for kids). For younger kids, this jigsaw is easier, and they dance, too! If you a bit more sophisticated, you can make this skeleton dance yourself (good one).

This video of a skeleton puppet dance is about five minutes long, but well worth the time. The first time I saw this, I was drinking (hey, it was News Years) and laughed til I thought I would DIE! There's even skeleton dance poetry, and skeleton dance ecards available.

Here's the dirty one you have to read all the way down here to find: Why Skeletons Shouldn't have Sex.

Thought for today: If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.  -George Bernard Shaw

The original version of this post appeared on October 19, 2005.

 halloween humor skeletons skulls holiday spooky

Comments

[Skunkfeathers]

For future reference: when someone approaches you and says "I've got a bone to pick with you", my answer (last time this happened) was: "Pick the tibia: five letters, three syllables. Good choice".

[Ed]

The Rules of the Game (La Règle du Jeu) has often been voted the best film of all time. There is a famous scene in this film when there are glowing skeletons on stage in the dark dancing to the "Danse Macabre" by Camille Saint-Saens. It's great. One of my favorite films. If you ever get a chance to see The Rules of the Game, there are many memorable scenes like this.

[Ed]

I found a skeleton image from The Rules of the Game. You have to scroll down a lot til you get to it. It doesn't do the scene justice, but it's all I could find.
http://www.filmsite.org/scenes36.html

[Kean-Luc Picard]

Make no bones about it, that was funny.

[Marti]

Thanks for the giggles - I needed a laugh!

[Moon]

Those skeleton jokes were bad, though. Really bad. Hee. :D

[Saskboy]

When I pass on, I hope my bones are found by someone famous. I'll have my 15 minutes of fame after I die at least then.

[Senor]

"Women waiting for the perfect man" I don't get it?

[OldGuy]

So this is weird, I was reading your skeleton jokes while my daughter was watching a Halloween movie and someone in the movie told the joke about what skeletons say before they eat.

Anyway, good ones Miss C.

[big mother]

hi,
the first video is a brazilian tv show called "Topa Tudo por dinheiro". It's very popular in Brazil and has a lot of pranks and funny stuff.

[]'s

[Miss Cellania]

Thank you, Big Mother! Always glad to get more information.

[Coll]

Ok.. those quick bone jokes have given me my morning chuckle. :-) And that sand sculpture.. my goodness that is amazing.

[Sarah]

Hi Miss Cellania,

I just LOVE skeletons and it is getting close to that time of year again. That sand sculpture is just fantastic!!

I thought you might be interested in a skeleton product that I found - it is called Skeleton Adventures ( http://www.skeletonadventures.com/ ) and it is just great. My kids (4 of them, 1, 2, 4 & 6 years old) just love it! They call him "Bonesey" and come running whenever they hear the music. It is just great!

SS