Eating out

She handed me my Happy Meal through the window. I checked the contents as always, since I've been screwed at the drive through too many times. No Happy Meal toy.

Me: Don't you put toys in Happy Meals any more?

"We don't have any girl toys."

Hmm, I'm thinking, (a) Who told you I had only girls with me? (b) Why do you assume that no toy is better than a toy designed for the opposite gender? (c) If you're not going to put a toy in a Happy Meal, I'd just as soon order the items a la carte to save money.

Me: Does that mean we can't have a toy?

"Oh, do you want a boy toy?"

I think YES YES YES, gimme a boy toy! But since all you have are little cars, put one in the Happy Meal. My daughters are fully capable of enjoying little cars.

Me: Duh. I mean, yes.

I feel sorry for the woman at the window. I suppose her parents never let her play with cars when she was a kid. Or is this company policy? Omitting toys from Happy Meals would probably save them millions of dollars over time. But it really wouldn't take more than a day for their Happy Meal sales to go to ... zero.


Here�s on online version of that golf tee game that drives you nuts at Cracker Barrel. You can practice and impress Grandma at the next family chicken-fried steak night.

You might want to bookmark this website for restaurant servers. A lot of information! Be sure to check the database for bad tippers, you will no doubt recognize some names. (Thanks, Barbara!) I wonder about the "all you can eat" buffets (don't laugh, I have a family to feed). How much should you tip? They have waitresses who depend on tips, but all they do is bring a drink and a check. You know they've got 50 tables to cover. I'm the one fetching food for everyone at the table. Its kinda like being at home, except I didn't have to cook it all.

Hooters in China? Yes, and other chain restaurants are adapting to Chinese culture. Here in the States, my 8 year old got a fortune cookie one night that said "You are attracted to the culture and customs of China". She was excited! How did they KNOW? See, she is Chinese. Sweetie, we got the cookie at a Chinese restaurant. We are there. Thats how they know. But I still put more stock in fortune cookies than I do astrology.

The Microsoft Restaurant

If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft... Patron: Waiter! Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support. Waiter. What seems to be the problem? Patron: There's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time. Patron: No, it's still there. Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead. Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there. Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using? Patron: A SOUP bowl! Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up? Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?! Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup? Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day! Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day? Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day? Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour. Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato. Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now. [waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check] Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check. Patron: This is potato soup. Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet. Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything. [waiter leaves.] Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup! The check: Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5.00 Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50 Access to support . . . . . . . . . $1.00

Thought for today: The best thing to have for dinner is reservations.