Potbelly

Eat here and look what happens! (via Bits and Pieces)

Link Dump

Robo-geisha: a movie trailer from Japan. NSFW.

Words That Changed Their Meanings. Popular usage trumps original usage, especially when "...the actual meaning is the complete opposite of the literal meaning."

The Top 10 Weird Sex-Related Mishaps. Not for the squeamish. (via Unique Daily)

It Came from Wasilla. Vanity Fair takes an in-depth look at Sarah Palin and what went wrong when she was selected to run in the 2008 election.

The debate over health care is satirized using the analogy of police protection. "Under our system, we can choose our own police officers, as long as we pay for protection out of our own pockets. Do we want some government bureaucrat choosing the police for us?"

Creatures from the Sewer. Reading an explanation of what this is doesn't make the sewer-cam video any less disturbing.

The Fireworks Song

Rhett and Link sing about fireworks in South Carolina, but of course things are the same here in Kentucky.

Reduction Procedure

There was a woman who was uncomfortable with her breast size, so she went to the doctor, and asked for a breast reduction procedure.

"All right," said the doctor, "there is an outpatient procedure that I can do which will immediately reduce your breast size by 20%. Would you like to try that?"

The woman agrees, and changes into a hospital gown.

"Please lower the gown," the doctor says, and the woman complies. The doctor's eyes grow large.

"The first step is to numb the breasts," says the doctor.

He thrusts his face between her breasts saying "num num num num..."

Croaking

Listen to the croaking! Can you imagine the size of the frog that would make such a noise? Original found at Japan Probe. (via Arbroath)

Independence Day Links

Our Founding Fathers signed an amazing document on July 4, 1776. It was essentially an "We don't like the way you've been treating us, so we're going to be our own country and if you don't like it, go jump off a cliff." Which was kind of unheard of at the time. Americans tend to take that for granted these days. Before the American Revolution, rulers were rulers and subjects were subjects, and subjects didn't just take power that way. The American patriots were willing to die for their acts. And a lot of them did. Many governments have fallen because of citizen uprisings since then, and rulers know they can't just take the will of the people for granted. Meanwhile, we celebrate our freedom by blowing our fingers off with firecrackers, waving flags, and eating hot dogs. However you celebrate, I hope you have a safe, meaningful, and enjoyable Independence Day.

The history of Fourth of July Fireworks.

The best way to photograph fireworks.

A list of red, white, and blue recipes for Independence Day. I can go for the cobbler or parfait, but the tricolored potato salad has me scratching my head.

11 Videos of Irresponsible Fireworks Use.

TV Holiday Marathons for the weekend.

7 July 4th Traditions from Around the Nation.

Which patriotic song are you?

"Stars and Stripes Forever," John Philip Sousa

You are a real man who can admit his love for the piccolo. More power to you and to America.

Take the quiz on BuzzFeed.com

A gallery of photographs of fireworks injuries. Not for the squeamish.

Candy Fireworks.

See also: Fireworks, The Fourth of July, Patriotic Music, and July 4th Links.

Dinner

(via I Can Has Cheezburger)

The Most Awesome Backyard Explosions

Don't try this at home! (via Holy Taco)

At the Whorehouse

Little Johnny heard the word "whorehouse" during recess and later asked his father what it meant.

Dad was shocked. "Well, uh, John, that's a place where men go to, uh, to have a good time.”

Johnny replied, "I wanna go there.! I wanna go there!"

Dad insisted that Johnny was too young.

But on Saturday night, when Johnny's dad and some of his friends headed to Mable's for "a good time," Little Johnny secretly followed them. Once Dad and his buddies had been inside a while, Little Johnny knocked on Mable's front door. She opened the door and was surprised to see an eight-year-old standing there. "Yes?" she asked.

"I'm here for a good time!" said Little Johnny.

Since Mabel had a heart of gold (of course!), she invited him inside, gave him three donuts, and then sent him on his way home.

Johnny took his time going home and arrived home well after his dad.

"Johnny, where have you been? It's late!" demanded his father.

"I went to Mabel's whorehouse, Daddy!"

Dad blanched. "You did? Umm, how was it?"

Johnny said, "Well, I managed the first two with no problem, but I just licked the third one!"

(Thanks, Rich!)

Exposure

(via YesButNoButYes)

Presidential Press Conference Interrupted

All of the sudden, I really really want one of these.

Missing Wife

Last month, a man placed a 911 call to his local police station and calmly reported to the police operator, "My wife, Gertrude, is missing."

The switchboard officer asked, "Sir, how long has your wife been gone?"

The husband replied, "I think about one month."

Why did you wait so long to report it?" asked the policeman.

The husband replied, "Well . . . Until yesterday, I thought it was just a dream."

7 July 4th Traditions from Around the Nation

This weekend, people across the United States will be celebrating the anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence with fireworks displays, picnics, and parades. Some communities celebrate in other ways that you may not be familiar with. Read about some of them in this article I wrote for mental_floss.

Excuse Me

(via I Can Has Cheezburger)

Nuts on Fire

Just a timely reminder that fireworks can be dangerous. You'll want to turn the sound down on this if you are at work.

Is it possible to watch this and have any other reaction than, "What did you THINK would happen, Butthead?"