Bubbles and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their Uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two blondes kept their promise. They set off from Clearwater Beach with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat.

After a while Bubbles says, ‘Do you think we’re out far enough, Barbie?” Barbie slipped over the side and finding the water only knee deep said, “Nope, not yet Bubbles.”

So they row a little farther…. Again Bubbles asks Barbie, “Do you think we’re out far enough now?”

Once again Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately says, “No, this will never do. The water is only up to my chest.”

So on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Bubbles is really getting worried when suddenly Barbie breaks the surface, gasping for breath she says, “OK, it’s finally deep enough. Hand me the shovel.

(Thanks, Rich!)

If fonts were people, what would they be like? (via YesButNoButYes)

See also: Font

(Thanks, Duke!)

Have you ever wondered where some of the more bizarre "old wives tales" about sex came from? Like that business about going blind? They came from "experts." Cracked takes a look at 5 Sex Experts Who Made the World a Worse Place (To Do It). And the misinformation hasn't stopped yet.

As you can see, the love has faded. So of course, since I've never heard of mail order, I'll have to run up to the city to get a new supply of t-shirts. I don't know whether I'll be able to post, but I'll give it a try. I have some fun stuff planned for you for the next few days, but there are still a few Squarespace bugs to work out (support has really been working hard on it), so things may look a bit weird around here for the next few days. I'll return to a somewhat normal regimen on Monday. I hope.

(via Bits and Pieces)

Some of my posting problems have been resolved; I just have to code in html, which is my second language. Not easy but doable. And everything I publish will be posted "now" or at 12 o'clock (I'm not really sure if that will be noon or midnight) on some other date. Meanwhile, I got a lift by laughing at this no-doubt-satisfying eatery. (via Bits and Pieces)

Good advice from Ill Doctrine.

I justthink it's a neat name for a business, don't you? (via Unique Daily)

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude, spotted a woman below and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be in Information Technology," said the balloonist.

"I am, replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be in Management."

"I am," replied The balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

 

With some guys,that's the only way you'll get them to share! Of course, I've been lucky: every man I've been married to was more than willing to share everything they have. Which was a whole lot of nothing. (Thanks, Rich!)

With a surprise ending. (via Arbroath)

There are some problems here, due to a new version of Squarespace (my blog hosting service). I can't post photos, and links are very difficult. See Miss C Recommends for more info. And probably some content.

A workman was killed at a construction site. The police began questioning a number of the other workers. Based with past brushes with the law, many of these workers were considered prime suspects. They were a motley crew:

The electrician was suspected of wiretapping once but was never charged.

The carpenter thought he was a stud. He tried to frame another man one time.

The glazier went to great panes to conceal his past. He still claims that he didn't do anything; that he was framed.

The painter had a brush with the law several years ago.

The heating, ventilation and air conditioning contractor was known to pack heat. He was arrested once but duct the charges.

The mason was suspect because he gets stoned regularly.

The cabinet maker is an accomplished counter fitter.

The autopsy led the police to arrest the carpenter, who subsequently confessed. The evidence against him was irrefutable, because it was found that the workman, when he died, was hammered.